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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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do you know much about borderline personality disorder?

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do you know much about borderline personality disorder?
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Dear concerned father,

I am quite familiar with Borderline Personality Disorder, having worked with many clients who had it or had to live with someone who had BPD.

Those with this disorder have a pattern of instability that continues throughout their lives. Often in crisis in interpersonal relationships, mood, or behaviour, they may feel bored or empty, have intense and rapid mood changes, are impulsive to the point of reckless behaviour (reckless driving, wild sexual behaviour, spending sprees, binge eating, substance abuse).

They attach themselves to others in a desperate attempt to prevent abandonment (real or imagined), and then become intensely angry if they think they are being abandoned or ignored.

They can engage in self-mutilatin (often cutting) or suicide thoughts or attempts. Their anger can be intense or out of control. They can even have brief psychotic episodes (particularly paranoia) and can have a very distorted sense of self.

It is difficult to treat, and the most effective method is a psychotherapeutic approach called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.

This must be very difficult for your son, and there are two options: help her get over this or manage it (this can be done) or divorce her and leave her hanging in the wind (which sometimes has to be an option).

Let me recommend four books that will help tremendously. The first two books are about learning to live and cope with a borderline person, The third is a Dialectical Therapy workbook that the wife can use to get a grip on herself, and the fourth is a book about separating and divorcing from a borderline spouse or partner.

These books are by the best experts and are worth their weight in silver. They are available at and elsewhere and some are also Kindle books that can be downloaded to the computer or Kindle reader.

The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know About Living with BPD
by Alex Chapman and Kim Gratz

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood and Jeffrey Brantley

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Randy Kreger

This information will be vital in coping with this situation, giving your son back the self-confidence when he understands he is not to blame, and that his wife's behaviour is not personally directed at his persona, but merely because he is there and because she loves him and fears (wrongly) that she will be abandoned.

Once he gets a grip on this he will be better able to deal with it and feel better about himself.

I wish your family great perserverance and wisdom in working through this.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Dear concerned mother-in-law,

Thank you so much for accepting my answer and giving me high ratingss.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

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