Cheated on my ex.. she figured it out. She says she doesn t want to give it a second try and that she doesn t love me that way ..Should I believe her or just realize these are her current emotions on how she feels and they may eventually bounce back to wanting a relationship with me? She has given me many mixed signals such as saying she wants to meet up but then canceling.. When I ask if she ever thinks we can fix this or try again says I dont know.. Calls or texts telling me she isn t feeling well etc
I have actually tried the meeting in the same place as the first date.. Things went well or so I thought.. We talked about how we cared , kissed .. Basically a good meeting. Then 2 days later she claimed she was drunk and didnt remember anything..Since then we have had some contact.. Mostly very vague.. She did say she wants to be frinds and to just let things go naturally. doesn t want a relationship now nor with me.. But when I ask about trying to get b ack together she says no then Idont know.. I have tried sitting expressing how it all feels and that I am sorry and I won t ever make that mistake again... I know those are words at this point but how do I go about making those words actions she can see and believe. If she wont even follow thru on meeting me when she asks me to get together.. then she cancels.. She has on 2 occasions so far said Ill come over .. and then last minute said I m not coming.. At this moment we are suppose to do soemthing on Monday but I am pretty sure being its a holiday the place we are suppose to go is closed..
Do you have any suggestions from here?
Her best friend has now got in touch with me.. telling me conflicting information.. One side he says she says she is done and can not trust me again or loves me like that .. On the other hand he says give her time... The last time she and I split he acted as an intermediary between her and I for about a month then we reconciled..this time though he is upset with me for my actions for cheating.. He feels like I did him wrong as well hurting her so much.. he has stated now several times he wont help this time I am on my own.. ..
So like I said on one side I get strange answers that are saying give up she is done... And the other give her time and just be consistant with my actions...
What is my next step in this please???
But she clearly doesn t want to tallk to me.. And he has since also stopped talking to me.. So at this point what should I do?
did that too!!! she is being wholey unreceptive and her friend told me that she is just using me.. this is another friend whom i know who came to me with this tid bit .. I really love this woman and have a hard time believing she is being this manipulituve .but i really have no clue what to do now??? sent a letter sent flowers(numerous occasions) gave her a ring to promise a better me for our relationship for her for us... ok so please give me some hope..
What else is there i can do????
I'm not so sure about that.. for several reasons .. mostly because it may come across as stalking or she may try to make a grand statement like that... I don t want that..
When we do talk all she says is we been over this I can t trust you its easier to start fresh with someone new then try to trust you again.. I tell her that I don t want to that I think we have something special and I think she recognizes it too.. she just gets cold and clams up after we get to that point.. Says she is too busy to date or be serious with anyone but yet then says she wants to date others... She went as far to put her profile on a dating web site.. We actually met off the site.. So she decided to go back on and go about the same search she was on when she met me.. then she took the profile down after a few weeks and posting new pictures.. I know deep there is some sort of game being played .. I dont know if intentional or just because she doesn t know anybetter... We havent been in contact for a week. last time we were she called and asked me for a favor and needed to drop by and see me quickly.. thats when she told me she was at a bachorlette party and had to hurry back because they were hanging out with a bachalor party too. she said it on two occasions almost to like rub it in..
I am so confused by all this its killing me.. I truly love this woman but am I trying to be with someone who doesnt really want to be with me???
I really could use more guidence lol
Well once again friend tels me I should clean house and move on...He says he talked to her and she said no therew is no chance not happening.. But then He tells me give it time work on you let her do her thing... She told me more then once that it is easier to move on with someone new then the dysfunction we had which was only the cheating from what I know .. But again I dont think I get 100% truth or the whole story...
So your opinion is giove her spavce and time??? You think space and time will bring this back to her ? I mean to me it feels like she doesn t want to face the emotions??
Have I not been accepting of your answers? I actually appreciate the answers and insite...
So you think at this point just stand back let her have what ever fun she wants and be here for her in the end??
Her friend today basically told me tha he thinks I should move on and not waste my time. that she isn t ready to settle down she want s to be selfish and do what she wants to do..
Ok so new info.. She just arrived back form a trip up north.. Last time we split she went away and came back wanting to talk and fix things.. this time when she got back her first call was to her friend that I am also friends with.l. I guess first thing she wanted to know was what he and I talked about..
I know he told her.. not a big deal honestly its all the same stuff I would have already said... Now interestingly enough he told me he bitched her out .. Telling her that I am a good guy , we all make mistaskes, how she was a botch to me a lot and for no reason... Only thing she could really say to him was something about a bad habit that I have . that and How could he or why would he cheat on me if he says he loves me...
Now I accept your answer , trust me I do but I thought I was able to continue to ask questions if I was unsure of something...
So now at this point what would your advice be?
I am still not contacting her.. I don t think now is the right time.. Plus with her friend in the mix she has contact with me indirectly and knows that I am still here.. Is that the right approach at this point. I dont want to push her further away but at the same time I know I need to let her know where my heart and head still are..
Thank you for your patience with me It is greatly appreciated