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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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Husbund says he still as feelings for me but dont know if he

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Husbund says he still as feelings for me but dont know if he wants is marriage anymore.he as left and his living with is mum what can i do to win him back and safe my marriage he texes me to see if am ok but wont talk about the marriage do you think i should cut all contact untill he decides what he wants or do you think i should keep contact at my wits end dont know what to do for the best.
You need yo show him that this marriage is worth saving. The first thing I want you to do us recreate your first date this will spark his memories about the very first time you fell in love. Ask him out on a date and rekindle what seems to be lost right now. He is just confused about his life right now and what he wants so this is where things have to change. He needs yo know that you care that you love him and want to save this marriage. You love bring married and he needs to see and know this. He still loves you and cares that is why he checks in. But he is struggling with staying married. It sounds like he is unsure hoe you feel, so I feel you need to make it clear you want nothing more than to be married. You both need to start again with each other and set up dates yo get things back to rekindle the love for each other. He needs to see how much you love him.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

ive just spoken to him via tex and asked him if he still loves me he said he honestly dont know i texed back and asked him if he missed me he said somtimes ive asked him if he wanted me to put the house up forsale he said he didnt know.i asked him if he wanted me to cut all contact with him and leave him in peace,he answered just give me some space.idont know what to do here please help me.since leaving 2weeks ago hes the one that contacted me what advice do you give me here am i wasteing my time.

I don't feel you are wasting your time, I just feel like he is hitting a certain point in his life where he feels confused and doesn't know what he wants. Some times this happens in life when certain events influence everyday life. I want you to think about when things began to change and if there is something that may of changed how he felt about his life. People can change in certain ways due to life events. They can lose direction because they are trying to heal from something that has happened. Also you usually push away the one you love the most hoping they will understand.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

its my fault i drove him away with me moaning at him all the time ive realized where i went wrong ive said sorry. he had even gone off sex with me.i dont know what to do for the best ive pushed him away. do i give him space like hes asked what due i do

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

am still awaiting your reply

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
,due i back off and give him space and how long
That is very common when you are with someone for awhile those little things that you found cute in the beginning start to become things that annoy you. As people we tend to look for more in life and want things to change as life progresses. You get to a point where everything the person does you nit pick at and want that person to change. But you can change this and learn that those little things do not matter and that loving the person is more important because you will end up missing those little things that once bothered you. I really feel that he wanted more love and attention. I feel he was not sure if you loved him fully and might of thought he needed more. I feel he left because he thought things would not change so he is taking some space. What you need to do is tell him how you feel. do not mention selling the house, you want to show him you are here to change to work things out to start again in this relationship.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

but hes told me to give him space do i due that and how long i really think ive pushed him to far what due you suggest

He is asking for space, but I do not feel that is what he really needs. You both need a second chance to make things right. I do feel like he needs to know how much you love him. You said that basically there was a lot of nit piking which is common in a marriage, but when this begins to happen the other person feels like they can't do anything right, and question whether the person loves them. He needs attention from you in a positive way and that is what I want you to show him. I want you to plan a date with him tell him you just would like to talk about something. Do not talk about splitting up talk only about being together. You want him to know you love him and that you are not going to give up this marriage with out trying.

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