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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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What are the signs that a man cares for you than just friends

Resolved Question:

What are the signs that a man cares for you than just friends when he is not the media type and says so. Doesn't like to e-mail or talk on phone. I see him once a week. Can you help. I have fallen for this man very deeply. thank-you. I may also add he admits he is not very affectionate or sexual and said women have told him so as well. He cooks for me, has given me music equipment and gives me kiss on lips good-bye
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.

It sounds like he cares about you in some fashion. If he wanted to be friends he wouldn't be kissing you and talking about his being sexual. He may care but just may be feeling that this is a barrier in some way. The only way to find out if you want to know is to ask. If you have fallen for him than you may have to start a conversation that includes how he feels about you. You don't gain anything by guessing. He is giving you signs that there is something there so introduce a conversation that tells him how you feel (not everything up front) and how he feels. If he is very sexual he may be showing some signs that he wants to know you in a sexual way. Sometimes we are afraid to talk about our feelings but by keeping them to ourselves we don't get the information we need. Just approach the subject and see where it goes.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I'm sorry, maybe i did not say it correctly but he said he was not very sexual and has even been called a dud in bed by some or a woman. Do you have any suggestions on what to ask him without telling everything upfront. He has been single for over 10 years now....very controlling women in past marriages.......i sure don't want to scare him away.....he did say he had a wall around his heart...wanted more at first with me..then just friends....is it possible he is getting more than friend feeling for me and is scared and doesn't know how to handle it? Thank-you i have told him i care for him more than friendship but I don't push it

Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.
He seems very afraid and his fear may mean that he likes you but he has had bad experiences. He may very well be scared. He can handle it but he may need more confidence. I would just lay the ground work for a healthy conversation but not so much that you scare him off. For instance tell him that you really would like a positive solid relationship with a good guy and then let your words trail off and leave it alone. Little by little offer details about what you want. With time he should feel safe with you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

you are right..i do not keep bring up about where we are going but try to just be myself but I know I have to do something...he is all i can think about..I try really hard to just keep affirming his good qualities and try to let nature takes it's course. I am so afraid of being rejected...My husband passed away 2 years ago and it would be like another death to me..I have dated but I have fallen in love with this man.

Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.
Then take a chance. If you think patience is the way to go then gradually bring things up that let him know you are having these feelings
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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