It's been a while but I saw your answer and appreciate your response.
I still kind of feel the same way I did last I wrote you. My personal relationship situation has not changed and is possibly a little bit worse.
The last couple months have been absolutely ruinous to my physical stamina as issues with my blood pressure and physical trauma have worn me down.
With the exception of the past couple days, I have been unable to sleep more than four hours in the past two or three months. I feel I'm stronger in some ways and in others much weaker. While I have come to accept my limitations, not only physically but with my ability to get out and socialize, I have lost most of my desire to seek out companionship and interact, whether going out to a movie, coffeeshop or even a nearby bar for a drink. I suppose I would feel different with a friend by my side, but that's beside the point.
Now, I'm not sure whether what I'm feeling is the direct effect of my physical ordeal these past 13 months or just me feeling sorry for myself and using this physical ordeal as a crutch, an excuse to give up.
I don't know. I'm not completely discouraged by crawling my way back into the world with no guarantee of success, again, is a weight on my conscience or frame of mind.
I would welcome any input.