thank you for your last reply.
I have thought about it a lot.
I don't want to be with my wife and its not because of the affair. The affair was borne out of not being satisfied with the relationship with my wife.
I now know that it wasn't just about sex/boredom. Its about lifestyle and attitudes.
we are poles apart. Im not saying Im right and she is wrong, but we don't click.
Im not happy with the effect that her insecure, pessimistic , negative outlook are having on our children. She has made a situation for herself that she can't deal with and she is making the same limits for our two children and that is unforgivable.
If I don't do something they will suffer, if I do they will suffer. in the meantime we all suffer and don't enjoy life.
Im at a loss to come up with a solution - i don't want my children to suffer. Yet, they will if we are together.
I feel the best way is to be apart and me to have the children but that will never happen because of the law.