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SLREED, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 220
Experience:  MS Marriage/Family therapy. Four years as a counselor.
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Im now 31yrs old and I dated this Guy for 4mths recently (3mths

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I'm now 31yrs old and I dated this Guy for 4mths recently (3mths dating, 1mth official). He to is 31. A little over a month ago he dumped me and I and others were in shock. We went on a 4day trip where the last time he was there at all those places minus one was with his ex wife in 09 almost around the same time. It was like he took an acid trip and a side of him I had never seen before started 2hrs into the trip. I knew the day we were coming back he was going to dump me and 3days later he did. Claims he was lent ready to date, ex sent him an email (she cheated on him [married for 6yrs but together for 10] and she is still with the dude. They have officially been divorced for only little over a year.. he said he had family stuff going o he didn't discuss ..blah blah. Well a wk later he see him back o the dating site we met uploading new pics which are from the trip we just took 2wks prior that I took of him. I didn't control my emotions well, went over to his apt for a surprise visit and w/out cussing or drawing attention confronted him. Of course he lied saying it doesn't mean anything (yet I knew he tried to go out with other gels since then and is referring tto me as bipolar.). He is a naval officer with a masters degree lieng to me who is at this mental level as a teacher and has a master in criminal justice. He deleted me from fb and removed some of his tags. Now after a little over a mth he has not removed over 30 plus tagged pics and he viewed me on dating site the other day. I have been saying prayers. I loved what he brought to the table as far as stability, education, independence, and looms. However it seems he is lacking emotional maturity? ? What is up withheld this situation? Is he done? Did he get scared?. I had met a core group of his family. Including on our trip which was his sister b-law, and little niece. His
Family liked me. And few days later he ended it.
It is a possibility that he did like and wanted to get serious with you. I think that since he introduced you to his family, that this said something about the seriousness that he had for you. It could be possible that once he was on the trip and got reminded of his ex wife that he became nervous, and felt like he was not ready to get into a serious relationship right now.

I see that you said that they divorced a year ago, for some people it take them longer than that to get over a divorce. Especially since his wife cheated. He may have trust issues and may not want to allow someone to get that close to his heart again. Getting out of serious relationships may be a way to prevent himself from getting hurt again.
As far as him on the dating site. He could just want to date and not be in anything serious. He was married for 6 years. That was six years that he was only committed to this wife, and they were together for an additional 4 years before that. With that being said, he may just want to get his self out into the dating world again without any serious commitments.

He may just want to find himself, date, and have fun. Most people after a divorce don’t jump into a serious relationship right away. Sometimes for years. The reason for that, is because they need to have some emotional stability, and mentally be prepared to be serious with someone. And no one can make that decision but him.

In short, its really probably is not you, its him. He just really isn’t ready to make that commitment with anyone, and being on the trip with you, where it took his ex wife, may have triggered something in him that reminded him of that. Or caused him fear. I know you like what he has to offer as far as education and stability, but someone that you end up with, also needs to offer you love as well. You deserve the whole package, and someone that is ready to give you the whole package and not part of it.

If he deleted you from facebook, and seems to be removing contact with you, then I would let it go. Him looking at you on the dating site could be him being noisy and nothing more. If he did not make it a point to contact you, after viewing you, then I would let it go.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thank you very much!

You welcome, if you have additional questions about this let me know. Also please rate a 3 or above if you are satisfied with my answer that is the only way I get compensated.
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It was my pleasure to assist you with this question, if I can ever assist you with another question, be sure to come back and ask. Be sure to put SLREED in front of the question, and I will be sure to answer it at my earliest.

The best to you.

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