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Doctor Kevin
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  24 years in a private practice
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I really liked this guy and was pretty much just a party girl

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I really liked this guy and was pretty much just a party girl when we were dating several years back. There was no commitment, it was just fun. It ended suddenly. I am now more interested in a committed relationship with someone I can connect with.He rang me up after we friended on Facebook recently to tell me he was selling his house from a previous relationship being over and that he and the following girlfriend were trying a temporary separation. I kept it light and friendly and he asked for my number. Immediately after, he texted that we should meet for happy hour after work. I said I would love to but couldn't maybe the following night. He said sure and we went out. It was lovely and he was a total gentleman. Although at the end of the evening it got a little hot an heavy. He left and kissed me good night. He made another date with me for the following weekend and we had another lovely evening. Once again we got into it (we have a lot of physical chemistry) and had sex. As he was leaving he kissed me goodnight and left. Then we had lunch together during the week, he picked me up at work and kissed me as he dropped me back off. I decided to invite him to a musical performance that I was given tickets to the following weekend. He said he had plans to go out of town and politely declined. I politely accepted and asked no questions. That Saturday I hooked up my computer and got on Facebook. I have been using my cell phone for facebook and really don't have time for anything other than posting quotes and making comments on what my friends say, and I didn't have any reason to question anything he has been telling me up until this point. But then I saw that his relationship status says he is in a relationship and with the chick who he said wanted to try separating. She posted that they were at a restaurant, out of town with her kid. did I completely misunderstand his representation of his availability? He asked me for lunch when he got back and I said yes. He picked me up and held my hand when we were walking. He acted very much as if we are together. I asked him how his weekend was and he said it was alright, then changed the subject. I wanted to ask him about the status and the relationship and was really hoping that he would just tell me what was going on, but for some reason chickened out. I am no longer a party girl and would really like to be in a relationship with someone who I connect with. I don't want to end up the fool here and do not want to settle for being the other woman. How do I even start this conversation and should I phone him or just try to do it in person? It it even worth it to try to find out or should I just call it off?

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 1 year ago.

Kevin Kappler :

Thank you for choosing this website. You are a time in your life when you want someone to be honest and serious with you and not be a player. The man you are dating is just separated from his girlfriend on a temporary basis. You have other reasons to doubt his fidelity. Overall he does not sound like a good candidate for a long-term relationship because of the number of lives you have caught him in. Trust your own intuition which is raising some concerns about his faithfulness.the fact that you do not want to confront him leaves you with only one other option which is to either enjoy the relationship and no it won't get any further than it is or call it off.


 

Customer:

I am at that point in my life, true. Yes there is doubt, and no it doesn't sound good...what I am wondering is since I am on the fence about talking to him about this, how would I do that? What is a good lead into it? is it a phone kinda thing or an in person kinda thing? If I knew how to do that and just have a conversation without badgering or being overly dramatic I might feel okay about bringing it up.

Customer:

If we could have just a conversation where I hear where he is coming from, it would help me to make my decision.

Kevin Kappler :

you must decide if you have the courage to confront him and if that confrontation will mean that he decides to dump you. A face-to-face confrontation is always the best since all he has to do is call him on the phone is to hang up. You are correct in that you have to avoid badgering him or be overly dramatic which will certainly result in his cutting off the


communication

Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience: 24 years in a private practice
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