This is interesting because based on what you've said above, it really does seem 50/50 as to his intent. Is he just buying time and pacifying you, with plans to give you bad news tomorrow, or is he planning some big evening for you, full of surprises and the reason he is being so coy is because he is excited to tell you good news? I really can't call this one and obviously you are confused too. Why would he tell you about your birthday gift if he plans to end the relationship? That would just be cruel. I think the botXXXXX XXXXXne here is that all you can do is wait one more day. The good news is that you will go to sleep tomorrow night knowing exactly where things stand. He's not going to come 1.5 hours to meet you, have lunch, take walks and have drinks without telling you where he stands. Even if he did try to pull some lame move where he didn't tell you what you needed to know, you're not going to accept that anyway. You'll stand up to him and demand to hear what is truly on his mind and in his heart. So for tonight, my best advice is to just relax, relinquish control for the evening since you really can't change anything, and rest assured that tomorrow is going to be a great day because you are finally going to get to hear the truth. Again, if he does anything short of profess his love for you tomorrow, then that is an answer within it itself and you would likely be wise to end the relationship yourself. To be clear, what I mean by that is you guys have been together over a year. He's 37 and you're 36. At this age and time in life, a year is a long enough time to know where things stand. He either wants to pursue a long term relationship with you, or he does not. The time has come for him to tell you where he stands on this. If he doesn't tell you that he wants to be with you and instead is flaky or vague or anything short of clear, then this tells you he is not certain of his feelings for you. If that is the case, then I would guess you would realize that if he doesn't feel in love with you by now, then he isn't worthy of any more of your time hoping he will commit to you. I'm not saying he has to give you a ring tomorrow night. (And who knows, maybe that is his plan!) But that aside, he has to at least tell you he is in love with you and tell you he wants to be with you and nobody else and that he wants to be in this relationship with you. Remember to ask for straight answers regarding why he canceled that trip to his parents' house and what it was that set him off to not want to see you for a few weeks. Just be honest with each other and all the rest should fall into place! Definitely let me know how it all goes, and please remember to click on positive feedback for me if this answer is helpful.
Here we go,
Well he came yesterday, He stayed the night and only left this evening around 6pm.
When he arrived at the restaurant he was wearing the clothes he was wearing for our first date, he bought the shirt for our first date..
He complimented me on my appearance and we sat on the table.
He said he had not changed his mind, I said that was fine but I would like to know how long, this has been a lie and how long you have not loved me for. He said" why are you being negative" I missed you and I love you that has not changed. How I feel about you not an issue.
He said he was hurt when I decided to move town, he did not want to stop me from my dreams and to move near family however he is not keen on my choice of location because he believes the town we lived in before is better. He does hope over time I can see that.
In nutshell he said he is scared of commitment. I am the most serious relationship he has had in the last 10 years. he knows he loves me a lot but scared of losing himself at the same time. He is not sure how to deal with his fear and what might happen in the future.What he knows is that he has missed me and enjoys being with me. He did not contact me because he wanted to stay true to his word of a clean break, however he went to bed holding his phone every night fighting the age to call, hence his prompt responses to my texts.
He suggested that rather than him come to me every weekend, could we alternate weekends, ie one weekend and mine and the other at his flat. As well as this I stay with him in the week when I am working at my business in Bristol meaning we are seeing each other midweek as well.
He said I could have space in his wardrobe for my stuff and have a key to his room so I can go there even if he is at work. In addition he feels that in over a year he has not done anything on the weekend without me.he asked if we could allow for one weekend a month where we can both do what we please.he could play additional sport or go to a sporting event, or even lazy around his flat. On that weekend we can see each other more in the week.
He was back to being his usual affectionate self, he even tried to I make love to me this morning but I said I don't have sex on the first night. I know eventually I want a partner I can share a home with, not right now but I know I want this in the future.should I let this one go, or is it worth hanging in there and show him that you can be part of a couple but still have your own interests?
What do you think? I asked weather he feels we are still together or if I should start dating other people.he kissed me and said we are still together. He is expecting me to stay with his Tuesday night. He said he will call me before he does to sleep tonight.