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KansasTherapist
KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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I am trying to learn different personalities and how to manage

Resolved Question:

I am trying to learn different personalities and how to manage them effectively without ruing relationships.
I have a business related friend who I see once a week or so for a few years. Almost every time we have a conversation he wants or suggest to do something together, for example, movies, dinner, breakfast, sharing storage, live in the same building, and list is going on...
None of this has been materialized in particular in the last couple years. I just find this so bizarre and for a longtime had trouble to understand the reason, why would one say something and not doing. The first year we went out few times and had great time, and I thought we could be good friends, but with time passed I just learned to listen and not much to say. He is very good what he does and would like to continue our business relation, but this behavior is hard to explain and manage, for one who does what they say...
Why would one find a pleasure in doing this all the time, put it softly dreaming?
Thanks
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KansasTherapist replied 2 years ago.
I'm not sure what would make him act like this so consistently over such a long time. Perhaps he wants to make friendly overtures but when he thinks about them later, he feels anxious about proceeding. Perhaps he is oblivious to his behavior and simply doesn't see the pattern that's so obvious to you. There are a couple of options in dealing with a person like this. One is to ask him straight out, why it is that he suggests these plans but it is seldom that anything comes of it. Another option is to accept this quirk of his personality. When he suggests something, respond honestly. If it's something you'd consider or not, just say so. But if you agree, expect that nothing will come of it and move on. To maintain a business relationship, I'd do the latter.
KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 565
Experience: 17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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KansasTherapist
KansasTherapist
Clinical Social Worker
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17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.