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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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My boyfriend of 6 months brings up his ex girlfriends in conversation

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My boyfriend of 6 months brings up his ex girlfriends in conversation frequently. How pretty they were, how much money they have, what they did together, how funny they could be, how all the guys looked at them and etc. It makes me feel insecure and i would like to know if it is innocent or should i be concerned. Also, the "pretty" girl friend called him 3 times on his birthday and keeps in touch with his family. He said that he did not answer her calls but in the future if he talks to her he will not tell be because of my reaction. He says he is over them and that i am his dream girl friend but why does he keep bringing them up in conversation?
Hello. It may or not be "innocent" but it is definitely disrespectful and unacceptable. 6 months is not a very long time, so while there is concern there, over time these things may fade. You said you have told him it isn't nice, but it is HOW you tell him that you can get your point across to him. Don't be mad or point fingers at him. Explain to him how it makes you feel and emphasize that. Tell him you feel he does not respect you and that you wish he would talk about you in the same way as he talks about his past. If you really care about him, you can give him some time to get over this, but you should at least have a red flag as to something to be weary of. The problem with this is that now there will be mistrust in the relationship which will build. Explain that to him as well. If he has flat out told you that he would not tell you about his future conversations with this specific girl, what else won't he tell you?? THAT is the main concern. The fact that he would hide these things from you is not right. I would say that if you really like him a lot, you should give him some time, but keep your eyes open and trust your gut. Your instincts about things are usually correct. Stand your ground and don't let him dictate your feelings.
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