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Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Customer Question

Hey Kate.......
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
I'm here! Got it :)
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
You make me smile so! Thanks for your thoughts too :)
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.

You're welcome! I can just imagine us smiling here together. It's nice....

BTW, I just wanted to say you inspired me to catch some of the Olympics when I can. My kids have become quite the watchers so I'm slipping in and catching some as I have the time. Got to see the rowing last night (we are several hours behind, it already happened for all of you!). Found myself cheering :)

Till tomorrow,

Kate

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Kate,

I've had a funny old day and feel mixed up. I asked mark in the week if he could help me with the fencing, I was planning on getting it myself and helping put it up. He texted this morning to say he had to get some supplies for himself and he would get the trellis and posts, which saved me a journey. I gave him cash to buy it, so that was all fine. I was so in need o9f having this fencing done like yesterday I was prepared to deal with my feelings and those which D might have when he finds out.


he's done a lovely job, the fence looks great and the dogs can't get out. I aslo asked him to fit a door handle and lock to the back door which has had no security since the lock broke on me sometime last year. He spent ages and ages on it, I felt bad that it was such a job, I thought he just needed to chisel a bit out of the door to fit the lock which was a little bigger than the previous lock (which D bought ages ago to replace himself!) Anyway, he stayed for lunch, then I made him supper. His wife was out with their oldest daughter, he was in no hurry to go home. Sam was here all day, I think he was a little uncomfortable with Mark being here bc he knows of his interest in me, but I talked to him on his way to work and told him how important it was that the dogs didn't get out into the road, and told him that Mark had told me that one of the Borzois had injured another small dog in the village a few weeks ago, that was loose, and it needed stitches. So Sam appreciated my need to have it sorted asap, and that D is unreliable. Poppy was nonplussed that Mark was here and didn't say anything except are you doin g all our jobs Mark?! (when he was fixing the lock).


I don't know if it was the right decision to have Mark come over, he made himself at home and was in no hurry to go to his. He said he was happy to get my text, 'a damsel in distress', and was glad to feel appreciated. I did pay him some, but he wouldn't accept more. He has to come back tomorrow to finish the doorframe bit off so I'll pay him more then. I don't want him doing it as a favour really, it might be better from D's point of view if he is paid properly. Mum says I should get D to pay Mark.


Mark says there will be upset when D knows what has happened. There will. Mark has to work with him next week. I hope they will be OK. I don't expect he will be OK with me, but I just HAD to get it done before the guests came in the cottage today, I can't have Lola disappearing over the wall day after deay, and fouling in the garden. I guess it's one of those catch 22 situations.


Mark wanted to take the dogs for a walk this evening, spend some private time with me. I made excuses. I will have to speak to him again and tell him, again....


I'm eating strawberries dipped in brown sugar thinking of you and your sweet tooth! One left Mmmmmm :) Poor Poppy had braces fitted top and bottom with appendages to move her bottom jaw forward, which mean her teeth don't meet at all.She is very sore and far from happy about them, but she is being brave and doing very well. She won't hardly eat anything at the moment bc she has to take them out and it's painful removing and replacing them. Ah. I thought of her then bc I bought the strawberries for her bue she hasn't had any of them.


I have to get Sam from work now. Can we talk about the solicitors letter a little too.


Back by the hour.


Hilary Rose
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm glad I inspired you to watch a little of the Olympics. You are doing extremely well with the medals (we aren't doing too badly too).

I'm home alone again now, Sam in then out, Poppy with Joe. I told Sam I miss him, barely see him. I hope we can get a few days away in a couple of weeks, I've decided to have a week from work when Adele goes away, nearer the end of August. And Joe starts employment on Monday so Poppy will be home during the week .


It would be so good to smile with you Kate, and hug Laughing. Can but dream.


Goodnight my friend. I hope to have more time for me tomorrow- rest and writing time. I hope Mark doesn't stay long.


Hilary Rosex (feeling better every day)
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Hilary Rose,

I think you did a great thing having Mark fix your home up. You were having a lot of stress on you because of the fence not being fixed. Mark may see your requests in a different light because of his lack of boundaries and respect for your wishes, but you asked him with the idea that this was to be a business transaction, he being paid for his time. You see it in a healthy way, he chooses to take advantage of your needs.

If you have another choice of someone to help in the future, that might be better than asking Mark again. But if you don't, then keeping boundaries is going to be necessary, even if Mark doesn't realize it. That may mean keeping the kids around when he is there so you have a buffer. And paying him for his work, even if he refuses.

Your feelings about Dave being upset are justified. He has no right to leave the work undone because he gives you no choice. He can get as upset as he wants to, but in the end, he didn't do what needed to be done to solve the problem. It's like leaving your car window open on purpose then getting mad if your car gets wet inside when it rains.

Yum, strawberries in any kind of sugar are so good! You always make me so hungry with all your wonderful sweets! :)

Poor Poppy! Both my girls have braces so I can sympathize. They are painful and it makes it so hard to eat when they are first put on then when they are adjusted.

I'm glad you will get to see the kids more often soon. I understand you missing them. They get so busy that you wonder if they have left the nest already!

I was so happy to see that you feel you are feeling better every day. :) I think you are doing fantastic. You've been through so much. I was just thinking the other day that you are so strong to have overcome so much adversity to get where you are today. You have not had it easy, at all.

Good night, Hilary Rose! I think your name is XXXXX XXXXX

Katex
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
Kate McCoy and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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