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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Hi my girl freind & I have been going out for 3 months, we

Resolved Question:

Hi my girl freind & I have been going out for 3 months, we have been seeing each other 3 times a week & all has been going great.
Out of the blue she sends me a text
"is it ok if we take a little break so I can think about where my feeling are with you. I want you to know I do like you"
We spoke & she didnt alborate, I told it was her call & reiterated that i had feeling for her. It has now been 7 days without contact

Is this a way of her breaking off slowly so not to hurt me.
When is it a good time for to call or should I leave it & move on & just assume its over for good.

I'm lost & have no idea what to make of it.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 2 years ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know about this shocking situation. It seems you were not expecting it at all but it happened.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Always the best, XXXXX XXXXX approach is not to guess about what would be the best, XXXXX XXXXX actually talk and get clear about your-her core boundaries and expectations, so you both could respect and support each other.

Customer: Do you think I have given enough time to think?
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I would suggest you to send an email message saying hello, showing you care about her and asking her to tell you what would be fine for her about keeping in touch with you. Then once you know that, you would decide how much or not you want to keep communication with her or not, depending on your feelings, expectations and what you truly want to afford here. There would be no misunderstanding or assumptions that get wrong since you both will know what to expect.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

the way she choose to end it was not the best one, since as you said, everything seemed going fine, and suddenly without further explanation -honesty, she ended it the way she she did.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then I think 1 week is a good period for you to establish contact and ask her about it and see what she says, if keeps not being totally open, direct and honest with you or if she chooses to be truthful and discuss with you what has been going on. From her response or reaction you would better know what you would need to do in order to take good care of yourself and how to cope with this scenario.

Customer: That's what Im not sure about.
Customer: Has she ended it
Customer: Was it just a line?
Customer: I know you don't have a christal ball, but in your opinion, how am I read her comments ?
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If she keeps this no communication approach for more weeks then it would be clear she used this plan as a way not to face the shock of ending it in a direct way.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

She has been avoidant, not totally honest and open towards you, has been hiding what she truly feels and wants, and then decided to withdraw instead of working on clarifying things to see if you could continue , make adjustments or just end it.

Customer: so I should wait for another week, Before I take any action?
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I think you could sen her an email message asking her to let you know what would be a good - acceptable frequency and ways of communicating with each other or if she just wants no contact at all until she decided what she wants to do. At least she would give you an estimated time frame.

Customer: Ok thanks
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're welcome.

Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Rafael M.T.Therapist and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi again;
Sent a text to my girl freind earlier today asking her how she was & that I hoped she was well.
Also told her that if she felt that she wanted no contact before she was ready to talk to let me know.

I've had no responce to me text in form.

Whilst it does seem that I'm beating a dead horse & she is playing me, do you have any other suggestions?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi again;
Sent a text to my girl freind earlier today asking her how she was & that I hoped she was well.
Also told her that if she felt that she wanted no contact before she was ready to talk to let me know.

I've had no responce to me text in form.

Whilst it does seem that I'm beating a dead horse & she is playing me, do you have any other suggestions? ,Hi again;
Sent a text to my girl freind earlier today asking her how she was & that I hoped she was well.
Also told her that if she felt that she wanted no contact before she was ready to talk to let me know.

I've had no responce to me text in form.

Whilst it does seem that I'm beating a dead horse & she is playing me, do you have any other suggestions?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
,
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 2 years ago.
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Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 2 years ago.
If she does not reply in the following days, that would be the best confirmation you could get about her lack of honesty showing her intentions. Then you would have to focus on moving on.

My guess is that there is a big chance she would reply and you would work from there depending on what she tells you as we previously discuss. If she doesn't please work on moving on.

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MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach