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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6884
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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My boyfriend is ill both mentally and physically I went into

Customer Question

My boyfriend is ill both mentally and physically I went into the relationship thinking
with just enough love and patience and enough just being there for him all would get better. 3 years later I am a nervous wreck wse have had numerous public scenes...he hates my family (siting their "prejudice") which really comes from their experiences of me trying to make everything right all the time by catering to him and his needs...He has talked me out of 4 or 5 jobs or possible jobs and he is not working though he'd love to. (Health reasosns) I need time to myself by now to heal because I nolonger act or feel like myself..I love him and feel totally responsable for his health and well being. I can't take the guilt I can't take the constant recriminations..when I say I need to get better he says just let the past go and everything will be fine but I see I will fall right back into the same old dance of catering to him to keep the peace and tyhat is not healthy relationship. I wanna go out on my own for a while maybe forever dependin g on how well he manages to heal himself...and I myself. I feel it may be imposible to ever have things right wioth my family. I need to talk to someone..
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Here's where my crazy hops in...I'm hoping he will get well and my family can forgive him and then we can see where things lie..or at least he gets better..I know if I am happy they will be happy for me. Even he as controling and manipulative as he is (conciously or not) wants me to be happy. He keeps telling me to make up my mind and decide one way or another to stay or go..then goes in to hysterics the moment he thinks I may decide to go...even for a break...that I am throwing him away and that he dosen't deserve that..that he is a decient person..etc.HE says I'm going about things completely wrong here.That I should be at home and we can talk things out calmly. He doesn't like what is happening and fears my leaving more than anything.
I live in fear of his responce and his crushed heart which is just one more in a long line of tragedies visited upon him by life. I cannot sta I cannot GO.

I realize what you say ..and I cannot be anygood to anyone if I am not healthy. I keep seeking permission..rational behavior from him though I know he will only be rational if he gets what he wants..he says he will give me everything I need..but I need to leave.
Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanky you for your help...
Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
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