Hello! Please remember that my responses are informational only, we are not establishing a therapeutic relationship.
This may seem like a silly question, but are you sure he received your last text?
Having sex before the relationship is serious can really complicate things --no matter what happens with this guy, it's good to consider next time around.
It sounds like the sex confused him --he's thinking about moving, has a good time with you, then the sex happens and it confuses him. Usually, that happens for the woman. Women tend to "bond" more with sex, more then men do, because there's a bonding hormone that's released for women during sex --that's not true for guys.
My guess is --he's confused and trying to figure it out.
I can understand that you feel sad. Nothing you described sounds like a game on his part (although I could be wrong, I can only go by your description).
So, the reason I asked if you're sure he got your text --it would be sad if he didn't and thinks you didn't say anything!
That's one reason I don't like discussing serious issues over text!
If he got it, then you shouldn't do anything more. If he didn't he needs to know what it is you said!!!
He's an emotional guy, and he describes feeling bonded after sex. I know that's usually with women. He also told me about a girl he dated after me that sounded great but he said he wasn't into. I suggested that maybe he just doesn't like people who like him and he said he's been told that
When we where talking the first time after not seeing each other for a long time I told him that I tend to fall for the unavailable
and I'm trying to change that behavior
Then he has some issues --he felt bonded with you but then has difficulty because you like him? That's a big problem!
He may think that is the only reason I'm interested
Oh--maybe you need to clarify with him then!!!
What do you think about calling him and asking to get together to talk this out?
I did clarify in an email which he thanked me for
he said he isn't mad at me just frustrated
His birthday is XXXXX a few days so I was thinking I would call him then
That sounds like a good idea. What exactly is he frustrated about?
I guess he's frustrated because he doesn't want to like me
that's what it seems like to me
the thing is I'm not trying to bombard him or look desperate but I'm ready for something real
and if he was the guy for me I would totally move
I even said that in the email
It sounds like you've done what you can, and he has to address his own issues.
I'm upset because I feel like I've been trying to be mature and honest and it's backfiring
now I have to play this game like- oh you're ignoring me? I'll ignore you
It would be great if he would go into therapy!
I'm sure he has some issues- adult orphan no siblings, was engaged and it ended I don't know why
He's a comedy writer- supposedly they're very insecure
comedians in general
Yes, I've heard that too...they hide behind the comedy....
You're in a difficult spot. Patience might be a good thing here.
that's what I'm trying to do. Usually as soon as you stop thinking about them they call you
so I'm trying to stop thinking about him but it's impossible right now
I've been going on other dates to keep myself occupied
Yes --and keeping busy with other things might be a good idea too.
It's pulled up a lot of mess for me though in other ways
I feel angry at myself about that old relationship with my friend
I passed up so many guys for him
I was so in love with that idiot that I moved across the country to get away from him just so I could move on
and even that didn't work
are you there?
I'm guessing that you made the best decision that you could at the time that you made it. I think even a bad decision is better than "no" decision or being passive. As painful as it might be, the important thing is what you've learned and where you go from here.
It takes some guts to move across country --you were willing to take a risk.
In order to be able to move on!
well I was already miserable
there was only up in my mind
Yes, that makes sense.
So I will call C on his birthday
Hopefully he will answer
So --what do you think is the best decision for you right now?
Yes, I think calling on his birthday is XXXXX
I guess I will wait til Tuesday and call him.
And, how he responds will give you a futher clue as to where he's at right now.
He always replies to me, even if not right away
that's why him not responding upset me
Well, like I said, with technology, one always has to consider the possibility that he didn't get it!
My brother said he is just "trying to be nice and let me down easy"
How is ignoring you letting you down easy?
I think his response to your call on his birthday will be telling ---
I guess that's all I can do.
I just hope it's not one of those, "let's be friends" situations that just means "leave me alone I don't like you"
Yes, I hope so too.