You offered the right suggestions. Nothing can be overcome without a serious conversation and an intervention. Counseling can be very helpful in overcoming a previous mistake. You may want to approach her about a short term commitment to marital therapy so that it isn't so overwhelming for her . You can then begin to address this with a professional. Another intervention could be done by someone you trust such as your pastor. If you want the easiest solution to commit to marital therapy can be conducted online so that she only needs to commit by accessing this through your computer. She may change her mind if she feels the intervention is something she can handle. You may also consider leaving her a letter about why it happened and what you hope to commit too in an effort to save the marriage. Ask her to read this on her own and then make any further decisions. Letters can be very informative and don't lead to an argument as each person tries to say their piece. If in the end she is willing to do nothing then this relationship could be in trouble. It requires both people to resolve conflict and then you may consider counseling for yourself.
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