How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask psychlady Your Own Question

psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
52358615
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hi, me and my boyfriend split up 5 months ago after nearly

Customer Question

Hi, me and my boyfriend split up 5 months ago after nearly a year together, we've known each other as friends for a year before that and we had a wonderful relationship together, timing was really bad as he has a daughter that lives 100 miles away and so was planning to move away before we got together, but he changed his plans and didn't go last summer as he had originally planned, but at the beginning of this car he said he would move no later than July this year and asked if i would move with him. I also have a daughter and am currently studying a degree so i said i would move next year after i had finished studying. from the moment he set a date to leave our relationship became strained, i pushed him to spend more time with me as i thought it was important to make sure we had a relationship became that was worth me moving away from all my friends and family for, but he thought that would make it harder for us as we would have to spend a year apart. he ended the relationship after an argument when we went to visit his daughter, we went out for a day with the kids and were going to all spend the night in a hotel together as a treat for the kids, but i wanted it as much as the kids did. unfortunately the kids did not behave and so he said he and his daughter were going back to his friends house. i was angry with him for leaving.me alone in the hotel and said i had dine this for him because i thought it was important for.me to get to know his daughter and that i couldn't believe he would leave.me there alone without even apologizing and expect me to give up everything i had to move down there when he couldn't even put in some effort to spend one night with me. i regretted it immediately but we never had a chance to resolve things, i had to leave to come home the next morning and he was spending another week there with his friends and daughter. when he came home a week later he said he couldn't do it anymore, that he loved me but it was just too hard and he needed to focus on his daughter. he said we would be friends and that he would never forget me and that i was an amazing person and none of this was.my fault and he was sorry that things had turned out this way. i made the usual mistakes of begging for another chance and that just pushed him further away. we ate still talking and the last month or so we have been talking more but face to face it is still very awkward. he had a leaving party last week which he invited me to but we spent all evening at opposite ends of the room catching each others eye every now and then and then looking away, i finally plucked up the courage to go over to him before i left and was ready to say a sad goodbye but he said he didn't want to do it in front of all our friends and would like to go for a drink before he leaves. I'm really pleased that i get to see him one more time and feel better about saying a private good bye rather than in front of all our friends, but i am still very much in love with him and i think we could work but i don't know how he feels and i don't know if i should tell him how i feel before he leaves or if i should let it go or if i should just wait and stay in touch and visit him once he has settled and tell him how i feel then. he's a wonderful man and i know i am lucky to have him as a friend and i don't want to lose him, but i think we could be happy together.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
we were friends before and i really do value his friendship but yes i would like it to be more, i care for him a lot and i want him to be happy and i certainly don't want to stand in the way of him developing a relationship with his daughter, and i will continue to support him through this as i have been. my question is more that i am unsure of his feelings, he hasn't spoken to anyone but our friends have said he has not been happy since we split and i can't help but feel that he didn't want to choose between me and his daughter but felt that he could not have both as i am here and she is there, i don't think he believed a long distance relationship was fair on me, and i don't think he thought i really wanted to move away from all my family and friends and that he thought this would be better for both of us in the end. we didn't talk about it enough for him to really know how i feel or for me to know how he feels, but after some time apart i have given it a lot of thought and would be happy to make a life down there with him. the problem i have is whether i should tell him or keep it to myself. i don't want to risk not trying because maybe he feels the same but doesn't know how to tell me. but equally i don't want to damage the relationship we have worked so hard to rebuild over the last couple of months by revealing my true feelings, would that be unfair on him and put him in a difficult situation?
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions