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Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Professional therapist
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Hi, my girlfriend (of 2 years) broke up with me last week.

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Hi, my girlfriend (of 2 years) broke up with me last week. She says she loves me but doesnt feel the raw connection we once had. She said i was great and she doesnt want to lose me, just she doesnt see me as she once did. The days after the break up she said she was so down and always crying and she wasnt sure if she made a mistake or not, and that she misses me and the knowledge that id just simply be there.

She is working pretty much 24/7 the next month, so there is no time for a while to actually try and meet her and find out whats what, and if feelings can be re-kindled.
We still text everyday, pretty much the same as when we were together, just without the nicknames and the loves and x's.

I obviously want her back, and am not sure what these texts mean.
Should i continue like this till i can meet her and talk, or ask her if she is simply just keeping me around from habit and the comfort of having someone to talk to.
Thanks for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd like to help you out.

I'm sorry to hear about what you've been going through with your girlfriend. It sounds like you are receiving some mixed signals, so I certainly don't blame you for being confused about what these texts mean. I'd think that it's generally an encouraging sign that she wants to remain in such close contact with you, however, usually when people are sending mixed signals it is because they are confused themselves. If that's the case, she may not really know whether feelings can be rekindled, or whether she is having trouble letting go of you due to comfort and habit.

Sometimes a break can be a good thing if it helps her to figure out what she is looking for. As long as it is not driving you crazy, it can't hurt to maintain contact with her and see where things go in the short term. The hope is that by the time you see her and are able to talk to her about this, she will have a bit more clarity and will be able to give you a better idea of what is going through her mind.

At some point though it does become unfair for her to end a relationship with you and then continue on as friends as if nothing is wrong. If you're starting to feel like this is too much for you, that's understandable, and in that case you may have to try and have this conversation with her a bit earlier. You have a right to know whether you need to start moving on, or if it is worth hanging in there. The problem seems that if you were to confront her about this right now, she may not be able to give you an answer that she is 100% sure about because she is still figuring it out herself.

I definitely wish you the best and hope that you're able to find some answers to all of this. If there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.

Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience: Professional therapist
Ryan LCSW and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Hi, thanks for your help.

Well yeah I guess it is starting to get too much for me, as we are texting and acting as if nothing much has changed, though it obviously has.

I was just wondering how to approach her about this.Do I just ask where we go from here..or where do we stand?

I dont mind if she isnt 100% sure over what she wants, Id just rather know that she isnt 100% sure, than wonder and go mad over thinking what might be going on.

I know what you mean about wanting to know where she stands, and I think one of the best things to do is to just be direct and say exactly what you just wrote back to me. If you don't mind her being unsure, then it certainly can't hurt to ask what she is thinking about your relationship together and what is going through her mind. At long as you keep it simple and non-confrontational I would think you'd get a pretty honest answer. That way at least once you know what she is going through you can make a better decision for yourself as far as how to handle this. Good luck with everything.


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