How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Ryan LCSW Your Own Question

Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Professional therapist
16045978
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Ryan LCSW is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hi, my girlfriend (of 2 years) broke up with me last week.

Customer Question

Hi, my girlfriend (of 2 years) broke up with me last week. She says she loves me but doesnt feel the raw connection we once had. She said i was great and she doesnt want to lose me, just she doesnt see me as she once did. The days after the break up she said she was so down and always crying and she wasnt sure if she made a mistake or not, and that she misses me and the knowledge that id just simply be there.

She is working pretty much 24/7 the next month, so there is no time for a while to actually try and meet her and find out whats what, and if feelings can be re-kindled.
We still text everyday, pretty much the same as when we were together, just without the nicknames and the loves and x's.

I obviously want her back, and am not sure what these texts mean.
Should i continue like this till i can meet her and talk, or ask her if she is simply just keeping me around from habit and the comfort of having someone to talk to.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 2 years ago.
Thanks for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd like to help you out.

I'm sorry to hear about what you've been going through with your girlfriend. It sounds like you are receiving some mixed signals, so I certainly don't blame you for being confused about what these texts mean. I'd think that it's generally an encouraging sign that she wants to remain in such close contact with you, however, usually when people are sending mixed signals it is because they are confused themselves. If that's the case, she may not really know whether feelings can be rekindled, or whether she is having trouble letting go of you due to comfort and habit.

Sometimes a break can be a good thing if it helps her to figure out what she is looking for. As long as it is not driving you crazy, it can't hurt to maintain contact with her and see where things go in the short term. The hope is that by the time you see her and are able to talk to her about this, she will have a bit more clarity and will be able to give you a better idea of what is going through her mind.

At some point though it does become unfair for her to end a relationship with you and then continue on as friends as if nothing is wrong. If you're starting to feel like this is too much for you, that's understandable, and in that case you may have to try and have this conversation with her a bit earlier. You have a right to know whether you need to start moving on, or if it is worth hanging in there. The problem seems that if you were to confront her about this right now, she may not be able to give you an answer that she is 100% sure about because she is still figuring it out herself.

I definitely wish you the best and hope that you're able to find some answers to all of this. If there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.

Ryan
Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience: Professional therapist
Ryan LCSW and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi, thanks for your help.

Well yeah I guess it is starting to get too much for me, as we are texting and acting as if nothing much has changed, though it obviously has.

I was just wondering how to approach her about this.Do I just ask where we go from here..or where do we stand?

I dont mind if she isnt 100% sure over what she wants, Id just rather know that she isnt 100% sure, than wonder and go mad over thinking what might be going on.

Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 2 years ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency