Hi, just need some thoughts on this. I just got played, but dont really understand why. I never had sex with him, never sent him money.. it was all on emotional basis. I met him online last year through a friend, which i thought actually knew him, but it turned out that he was an internet friend as well. For over a year i thought he just had a chaotic life with a chaotic family and work and had to travel alot, we talked 24/7, we talked on the phone, but his chaotic life kept pushing forward us seeing each other. I guess i believed him, because i have a chaotic family and i know sometimes you are just not lucky. But when i finally starting smelling something fishy, i looked into the ip adress of his messages and it showed that he was in the same country (european). and something else i dont get is he had some of the family members on facebook and friends that all had a good connection to me and supported whatever he was saying. For example when we had a fight about him not making to see me, hed give me an excuse and then his sister would support it by msging me about something. he had loads of friends on fb as well that knew him. I dont get it. Some things happened during our relationship like him standing up for me because some guy that i do know was kinda harassing me online and which resulted in my bf getting hurt by a couple guys, which led to him losing a year of memories and spending time in the hospital.. but now i dont even know if that happened. when i confronted him about the ip adress and some other stuff i found, he gave me loads of excuses and told me i wasnt trusting him and that he never played me and bla bla bla. but i broke it off cuz i dont trust him anymore. i am left feeling lost and confused, dont understand how or why or nothing.. this is a guy i was sure was my soulmate..:(
Having an online relationship has many challenges including possibly being led astray. It is possible that people can make up a large amount of information about themselves. I think people end up liking the fantasy of someone rather than their true selves. You were just duped by someone who chose to offer a fantasy. AT this point you should consider that his lying has caused irreparable damage to this relationship and possibly that he has offered untruths about himself that prevents really having a healthy relationship based on honesty. If he is willing to lie about these things then a relationship is not possible. There is no place for dishonesty in a relationship. If he can't make it home to you then there is the possibility that the relationship can't function within these lies. There should be no warning signs including him not seeing you and giving valid reasons. Consider that he cannot offer an honest relationship.
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I am no longer in a relationship with him, i ended it as soon as i found out the things that didnt make sense and it wasnt meant to be a online relationship since he lived 50min away from me. I confronted him and he said he wasnt lying and he has explanations for everything, but i didnt believe any of it, none of it made sense. Why i fell for him and trusted him was that he had backup from family and friends on fb, and friends that even live in the same city as me that he knows very well. And if he was in another relationship, wouldnt he be scared that our relationship would leak out? Because he made it very public.. so thats what doesnt make sense... he lives an hour away, with friends that have mutual friends of mine.. he cant be going out much because all my friends recognize him... so i dont understand why. all the pictures he sent me were real of him and his family and nephew and niece.. he wasnt getting anything out of our relationship except emotional things and love.. would someone really play someone for that?
Someone can always play you if they are that kind of person. If you believe in karma they will eventually get what is coming to them. For now it is helpful that you calls this relationship off. There should not be a way of having to figure out if someone is lying. Use this as a learning experience.
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