Hey Coach, I pray that you are well!! I'm still breathing & standing. In fact, I am great...met with a Psychiatrist today for two hours, he helped me embrace my sanity in the midst of an extremely dysfunctional marriage, which I will be bringing to an end by Sept. 1st
Welcome Thomas. I have been thinking of you and wondering how you are.
I am getting stronger and more independent every day.....how r u ?
All is well. I was wondering if you had given it ll up and were living in Hawaii. :-)
thought about it often
I am sure. so fill me in.
Thomas, can you give me 10 minutes? I am here but I have a sick child at home with me today. I will be right back. Keep writing and i will respond in just a few.
Well, my wife has maintained her irrational position and has become very brazen in her attitude towards me.... I have asked her for a divorce and to leave 6 times, each time curses me out and a few hours later acts as though I never said anything......Yesterday , she told me that she was going out of town for few days to speak at a conference and to visit her parents. I was welcomed to come, but she preferred that I didn't.....I asked her if she was meeting her male friend and she refused to answer my question....She will not leave the house so, I will be leaving by Sept. 1st
I am here. So sorry about that.
It sounds as if it sadly is the same stuff you have been dealing with but what i do like to hear is that you have some strength and have made a decision for yourself.
II spend a great deal of time away from her and it has helped
it is shocking how she can just stay in this dynamic
she seems to be convinced that she is a victim and what she has done is part of her self-preservation
I say go...but, I'm her soul mate
ah yes I remember that stance of hers.
I am glad you saw a Psychiatrist today and felt herd and understood.
supposedly, her plans for a separation were cancelled because I was in pain and she ccouldn
t leave me that way
but, sshe has caused 1000 times more pain staying
either way there is pain but by staying you both are prolonging it
(keyboard still stiicks)
lol no worries
She still doesn't have a steady job
that, like the last 10 years started strong then died
Lazy is what lazy does!!!!
she has done what she wants and continues to do so and that is why you and I have always felt that it will be you that needs to take whatever action was necessary.
well I didn't want to throw out on the street, but letting her stay has clearly been a license for abuse.
it has hurt you for sure but you can only make a move when you feel totally ready and that has what our work together has been about.
I''m ready, now more than ever!!!!
I hear it and I commend your strength
Her love has become very ttoxic
it saddens me, but I look forward to the future without this craziness
yes and when you are without it you will not even imagine that you lived like this.
I believe that...
and you will feel light and unburdened.
so how did you arrive at Sept 1?
The Dr today helped break free from worrying about her emotional / mental well being behind my decision to end thee marriage
prior to this trip, I expressed to her that I had sexual needs that only she can fulfill, however for 2 months she refused, giving me a variety of excuses. When she announced that she was leaving town, she tried to reassure me that she would be having sex with me before she left........Am I crazy for being insulted and having no desire to have sex with her??
this is all part of the dynamic between the two of you.
.That is why it comes to an end....NOW!!!!!
So happy for you Thomas
the Dr essentially said that I am very rational and reasonable in my expectations, my reactions, but, she is mentally / emotionally immature and that may not improve, so I must make decisions that are going too safe guard my well being, thereby confirming everything that you have said to me these past months.
exactly. right on Doc!
Because, I have genuinely loved her, my heart aches, but I have to just pray for her and move on.....I got that!!!
Yes and you can also know that you have gone above and beyond and tried everything.
Yes, I have.....I am comforted in knowing that I did all that I could do to save my wife and my marriage.
that is correct even putting your emotional health and physical health in harms way.
not really cause if you hadnt gone the distance you would always question
I can now say that I am at peace about it
I am glad. I can hear it and I am happy for that. You deserve it all.
I will find my self resting in Hawaii.... in the near future
I gotta run....so glad I had the chance to talk to you....I will be in touch soon
ok. take great care.
The system has changed...it now asks you to rate my work rather than give an accept. Please take a moment to do so.
I certainly will......bye
bye for now
...4 now! :)