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Santo B
Santo B, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 86
Experience:  Clinical Social Work
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Mychristian husband who is their stepfather touched my girls

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Mychristian husband who is their stepfather touched my girls inappropiately when they were in their teens. We dealt with it then but then recently (they are married with kids)we caught him peeking in the door when one of them was showering. They girls now want nothing to do with him said they have forgiven him too many times. My life is my grandchildren so I have two families I am with my husband of 30 years or my daughters and grandchildren. It is killing me and it has been over 2 yEARS and I have not seen any answers from God. Should I divorce him? We love each other but have been living like we are just friends. My daugher feels like she has ruined the family by telling she feels guilty because she broke up the family. I have had a heart attack previously and I am afraid it will happen again because I am under so much stress dealing with this.

Santo B :

My name is XXXXX XXXXX I hold a Clinical Master's Degree in Social Work with a focus on Adult Mental Health. I currently provide general Life Coaching.

Santo B :

Please allow me a moment to read your uestion.

Santo B :


Santo B :

Unfortunately it would be difficult for me to tell you whether or not you should divorce your husband of 30 years. He has done many wrongs to you an your children, and because he has shown the behavior again, I would think it is difficult to forgive him.

Santo B :

You say you are no longer living as a married couple. I am guessing that there is no longer physical intimacy in the relationship. I would suggest that you discuss with your husband some options that would alleviate the stress and burden on you and your family. Of purse divorce is always an option, but it doesn't sound like you want to divorce him. You can always try a trial separation to see if that is what you want.

Santo B :

It shows that you are offline. I will switch to a Q&A format, and you may visit the post, respond and ask more questions. I will get back with you in a timely manner. Please allow for sometime for me to get back with you and answer any additional questions you may have. The time for a question to be answered will never exceed 12 hours. Hope to hear from you soon so we can work on your question.

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Customer: replied 4 years ago.
We have thought of that but financially can't really afford that. We did separate in the beginning for 3 weeks and he stayed at the church. I was very lonesome with no one to eat with etc. and many church people have their own families and problems. I also did miss him even though I was so mad at him. Have any other ideas?
I think you may want to open a duologue with him to see what he is comfortable doing. Also, I know you have sought guidance from a professional counselor, but have you received spiritual counselor from your church's pastor or minister? They may be able to provide some guidance that you otherwise wouldn't receive from a therapist or counselor.

I realize he is your husband and friend, but the circumstances surrounding his mistakes are pretty grave and are causing a great deal of undue stress on you, which has led to a heart attack. I recommend you consider all available options, even living in the same home but leading separate lives for a while.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

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