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Doctor Kevin
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience:  24 years in a private practice
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I am unsure of whether my question fits into this area of expertise

Customer Question

I am unsure of whether my question fits into this area of expertise but I will ask it anyway. I live with my husband and my 2 stepsons- all of whom are over the age of 25. Within recent times, I thought I was misplacing many personal items and blamed myself for it. Then my new vehicle started malfunctioning and I had a bout of food poisoning. I had my suspicions about the source of the problem and spoke to husband about it, much to his ire. Just two days ago I was able to confirm conclusively that one of my step sons, in particular, has been responsible for some of the incidents, consistent with my suspicions. I do not wish to destroy my marriage but how can I deal with this issue?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.

Kevin Kappler :

Thank you for choosing this website to deal with your difficult situation.

Kevin Kappler :

I understand your concern about one of your adult stepsons whom you believe may be doing some damage to your car, taking things from you and may possibly even been feeding you poisonous food. You have talked to her husband about it and he was not happy. Recently you have been able to obtain some evidence that conclusively proves one of your stepsons is involved.

Kevin Kappler :

You need to talk to your husband and showed him the proof. Although he may be reluctant he is the person that you need on your side to help you confront your stepsons and help you protect yourself from further injury. It is only after you can convince him that the two of you need to support each other in this confrontation that you are ready to take on your stepsons. If he does not want to participate then you must decide whether or not you're going to confront your stepsons on your own which is what I would recommend.

Kevin Kappler :

I see that your currently off-line and I would be very interested in your reaction to my answer. I'll be available all day and into the evening.

Customer:

Are you online?

Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience: 24 years in a private practice
Doctor Kevin and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.
Yes I am and very concerned about your situation
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.
Please type in a response and I will be notified. I will reply right after that
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Are these chats confidential? Or are they available for public scrutiny? The extent of what I will divulge is dependent on that.
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.
these chats are not available for public scrutiny. There In the just answer office computer server and I believe they have access to them. They strive for the highest level of confidentiality however and I have not heard a single complaint of inappropriate access to patient files.. If you like I can ask administration to clarify this for your further but I can assure you that your information that you present here will in no way be available to anyone other than myself and the administration will only access it should they deem necessary.
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience: 24 years in a private practice
Doctor Kevin and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for the clarification. I have noted that you are a mental health expert. For the records, please note that I am not paranoid though the occurrences have the propensity to engender this,
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.
Please be aware that this question is an important one and asked more than you think. It does not in any way suggest paranoia but rather feel fear that information that is personal to you may be available on the Internet. I have been a licensed clinical psychologist for 26 years and I have seen a lot of different problems that people get into. It is important when you enter into any relationship in the medical field that you asked such questions as people's qualifications, their ability to handle specific problems such as yours and their ability to keep your records safe from other people. People who pass these questions are generally respected more by doctors oddly enough.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for being understanding.
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.
Do you still have further questions concerning what you need to do about your serious concerns for your welfare. What is your thoughts about the plan I suggest where you talk to your husband and then the both of you confront your stepson?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Your suggestions are very practical. However, my husband, even when presented with the evidence refused to believe. I think he is afraid to, since he feels it may be an indictment against him and the way he brought up his sons. He is also non confrontational so if I have to confront my stepson I will have to do it alone. The whole situation is extremely stressful and I wonder now whether it contributed to my cancer diagnosis a few years ago.
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.
I'm sorry to hear that you're diagnosed with cancer and I agree that such additional stress may have been part of its cause. I'm sorry to hear also that your husband is not willing to stand by you. Too many people get locked up in their image of their children as being still young when they are adults. It is difficult to make that transition and realize that you have to judge your former children using adult values. It sounds like your husband is dwelling too much in the past and on his regrets. Do you have a friend who might be able to support you in your confrontation? Is it possible to talk to your other son and see if the two of you may be able to confront the sun and question? If you do not want to confront him directly you may consider writing him a letter and giving it to him to read and then you can discuss it together. You will may also consider asking your son to find another place to live so that he's not at home and in close proximity. This may reduce the chances that he may continue to sabotage you. A third possibility is to ask him why he's so angry at you and find out what possible hidden motives he may have for causing you harm. Let me know if any of these possibilities seem like a practical alternative.
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience: 24 years in a private practice
Doctor Kevin and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I will opt for the third proposal and ask him why he is so angry. He is 27 and I trust, amenable to discussion. I will keep you updated on what transpires.
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.
I hope my answer helped. In the future if you want me to answer a question put for Kevin" on it and I will get it
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I need your advice again. The situation has become progressively worse. The invasion of my privacy has multiplied many folds and I am convinced that my stepsons want me out of the house. I no longer tell my husband about what is happening because he has not addressed the situation at all previously.I no longer have the will to fight back so I just sit and cry when I see evidence of their actions.

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