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Ask Eleanor
Ask Eleanor, Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1517
Experience:  Marriage & Family Therapist with 20 Years Experience
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I met a Guy through Eharmony dating site. I am a widow and

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I met a Guy through Eharmony dating site. I am a widow and I am 62 years old. This guy was 60. Lived an hours drive away from me. We chatted for quite some time. Then arranged to meet. Not bad looking, but nothing special. Went for a drink and seemed to get on very well. He took me home and I invited him in for a coffee. He was very romatic and attentative. We ended up in bed. I asked him if we wwould see each other again. He was very keen. I invited him for the weekend. All week every morning I received voice texts from him. We spoke on the phone every evening. I cooked a wonderful meal. Everything was perfect. The following morning he said pack an overnight bag he was taking me to his holiday home on the coast. Again very attentative. Holding hands, kissing. Got there we ended up in bed straight away. Afterwards he said he was having a little nap. I gave him a couple of hours then made him a coffee and he got up. We were going out for dinner. He said he didn't feel well, so I suggested getting fish and chips (Ihadn't eaten all day) and said if he didn't feel well he should maybe go to bed. I was left on my own for the evening, in strange surroundings. Kept on popping in to see if he was alright. He was asleep. Got up Sunday morning and we came back to my house. I needed the toilet. When I came out of the bathroom he had put my overnight bag in the hall and was about to shut the door. Saying as he went will phone you in the week. By Thursday I hadn't heard from him, even though I had left messages on his answerphone hoping he was feeling better. I telephoned him from my mobile phone which he didn't know the number. He answered but was quite shocked that the phone call was from me. Said he didn't think there was a future for us. I just want to know what I did that was wrong. One minute he was all over me, and then to get dumped. Totally and utterly confused.
Hello, I am here for you and am very sorry to hear this. I can understand why you are so confused. It does not sound like you did anything wrong at all. His behavior is very strange indeed. The difficult thing about meeting someone through sites like Eharmony is that we cannot truly know if they are telling the truth about themselves. I am wondering if he might be married. Have you considered this possibility?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I had already been out with two other guys that turned out to be married. So I had this one checked out before I even met him. I also see he is on the site again daily.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Please can I have a reply to my question. I have given you more information.
I apologize for the delay. We have been having some site difficulties. Well, if he is not married, then he is probably a player as he is back on the site. I suggest that you try and put him out of your mind and stop trying to contact him or look for him on the site. Don't you think this is the wise thing for you to do?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
What does the term player mean. I really am quite new to all of this. And yes I already have put him out of my mind. Wouldn't consider him even if he came back on bended knees. And I wasn't looking for him on the site. Its just because we had chatted on the site, when I go back on he automatically comes up and it tells me when he was using the site. I realise he is now looking for his next conquest. Just was confused as to what I had done wrong. Yvonne
Good for you, Yvonne!! He does not deserve anymore of your time or attention!! A player is a man who exploits women for sex and moves on once he has gotten what he wanted. Again, you did nothing wrong. The problem is with him. He will do this to other woman, I can assure you. You deserve better!! I hope I have been helpful to you. Chat back if you need anything further. If you are satisfied with my answer, please give me a positive rating and click on submit. I wish you all the best, XXXXX XXXXX Eleanor
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