How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Ask Eleanor Your Own Question

Ask Eleanor
Ask Eleanor, Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1517
Experience:  Marriage & Family Therapist with 20 Years Experience
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Ask Eleanor is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I met a Guy through Eharmony dating site. I am a widow and

Resolved Question:

I met a Guy through Eharmony dating site. I am a widow and I am 62 years old. This guy was 60. Lived an hours drive away from me. We chatted for quite some time. Then arranged to meet. Not bad looking, but nothing special. Went for a drink and seemed to get on very well. He took me home and I invited him in for a coffee. He was very romatic and attentative. We ended up in bed. I asked him if we wwould see each other again. He was very keen. I invited him for the weekend. All week every morning I received voice texts from him. We spoke on the phone every evening. I cooked a wonderful meal. Everything was perfect. The following morning he said pack an overnight bag he was taking me to his holiday home on the coast. Again very attentative. Holding hands, kissing. Got there we ended up in bed straight away. Afterwards he said he was having a little nap. I gave him a couple of hours then made him a coffee and he got up. We were going out for dinner. He said he didn't feel well, so I suggested getting fish and chips (Ihadn't eaten all day) and said if he didn't feel well he should maybe go to bed. I was left on my own for the evening, in strange surroundings. Kept on popping in to see if he was alright. He was asleep. Got up Sunday morning and we came back to my house. I needed the toilet. When I came out of the bathroom he had put my overnight bag in the hall and was about to shut the door. Saying as he went will phone you in the week. By Thursday I hadn't heard from him, even though I had left messages on his answerphone hoping he was feeling better. I telephoned him from my mobile phone which he didn't know the number. He answered but was quite shocked that the phone call was from me. Said he didn't think there was a future for us. I just want to know what I did that was wrong. One minute he was all over me, and then to get dumped. Totally and utterly confused.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 2 years ago.
Hello, I am here for you and am very sorry to hear this. I can understand why you are so confused. It does not sound like you did anything wrong at all. His behavior is very strange indeed. The difficult thing about meeting someone through sites like Eharmony is that we cannot truly know if they are telling the truth about themselves. I am wondering if he might be married. Have you considered this possibility?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I had already been out with two other guys that turned out to be married. So I had this one checked out before I even met him. I also see he is on the site again daily.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Please can I have a reply to my question. I have given you more information.
Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 2 years ago.
I apologize for the delay. We have been having some site difficulties. Well, if he is not married, then he is probably a player as he is back on the site. I suggest that you try and put him out of your mind and stop trying to contact him or look for him on the site. Don't you think this is the wise thing for you to do?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
What does the term player mean. I really am quite new to all of this. And yes I already have put him out of my mind. Wouldn't consider him even if he came back on bended knees. And I wasn't looking for him on the site. Its just because we had chatted on the site, when I go back on he automatically comes up and it tells me when he was using the site. I realise he is now looking for his next conquest. Just was confused as to what I had done wrong. Yvonne
Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 2 years ago.
Good for you, Yvonne!! He does not deserve anymore of your time or attention!! A player is a man who exploits women for sex and moves on once he has gotten what he wanted. Again, you did nothing wrong. The problem is with him. He will do this to other woman, I can assure you. You deserve better!! I hope I have been helpful to you. Chat back if you need anything further. If you are satisfied with my answer, please give me a positive rating and click on submit. I wish you all the best, XXXXX XXXXX Eleanor
Ask Eleanor, Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1517
Experience: Marriage & Family Therapist with 20 Years Experience
Ask Eleanor and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC


    Satisfied Customers:

    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.


    Satisfied Customers:

    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions