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College_chic
College_chic, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1
Experience:  Relationship Expert and Mediation and Conflict Resolution Specialist
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My husbands in house cats had to move

Customer Question

My husbands in house cats had to move to the garage when we married due to my allergies. The alpha male whines constantly demanding his attention--he responds every time to the extent of sleeping with them to quiet them. He insists they can't be trained..they're only animals. Judy
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  VetTechErin replied 4 years ago.

VetTechErin :

Hi there! My name is XXXXX XXXXX I would be happy to help you with your question about Hercules.

VetTechErin :

Cats can certainly be trained, but they are more difficult to train than dogs, as they are solitary creatures (they do not adhere to pack statuses). This means that training a cat is more geared towards helping a cat find new learned behaviors, as they will not strive to please a "pack leader".

VetTechErin :

In short, cats respond best to positive reinforcement, meaning that they will perform an action in order to receive a reward. In this case, they have learned that if they make enough noise, your husband will come out to the garage to give them the attention that they need.

VetTechErin :

This is partially good, because cats do need interaction and attention from humans, and they need to have a way to announce their need (like when they are crying for food to tell you that they are hungry).

VetTechErin :

However, so long as they learn that crying leads to your husband going outside to pay attention to them, they will cry anytime they want attention.

VetTechErin :

Since cats are routine creatures, it might be helpful for him to set up several times a day that he goes out at the same time to spend time with the cats.

VetTechErin :

Initially, they will be crying for him to come outside and pay attention to them, but with a little patience, a good deal of ignoring the crying (and possibly some ear plugs), they will eventually grow accustomed to him coming out at the same time every day for attention, and they will cry less when they don't expect him to be there.

JACUSTOMER-j1tirgpq- :

So what can be done if he is the problem and likes the interaction

JACUSTOMER-j1tirgpq- :

So what's the answer?

JACUSTOMER-j1tirgpq- :

So what's the solution?

VetTechErin :

Unfortunately, I am unqualified to give advice on human behavior, and inter-relationship advice. I am only licensed to deal with animals. That would be more of a question geared towards our relationship experts. Would you like me to have your question moved for one of our relationship experts to handle?

VetTechErin :

Let me opt out of the question, and move the category for you, so that you can have one of our relationship professionals available to help you!

Expert:  College_chic replied 4 years ago.
Hello and thank you for choosing Just Answer! It seems as though your husband has grown more attached to the cats than he has to you. He is giving into the needs of the cats instead of listening to your needs. You will have to have a serious talk with your husband to let him know of your concerns. Tell him how giving in to the cats is making you feel and how it could possibly put a strain on your marriage. Be true and honest with him. I hope I was able to help you or give you an insight on your problem. If not, I would be happy to look into the matter further for you.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I already knew that since he had them for years before meeting me and he was never married or had any children or cared for another Human Being.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I told him very nicely that my daughter had the same problem and how she was retraining her cat...last night he sneaked out to the garage again when the cats weren't even crying so I asked him why he preferred to sleep with his cats rather than his wife..he yelled at me that I was done and to get out..and don't come back!
Expert:  Josie-Mod replied 4 years ago.
Hi, I’m a Moderator for this topic and I wonder whether you’re still waiting for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will do my best to find another Professional to assist you right away. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you. Thank you!
Expert:  College_chic replied 4 years ago.

I apologize for the delay. Now that you have talked to your husband and he still feels very strongly about being with his cats and he has shown you that he doesn't care about how this is affecting your marriage or how it is making you feel, you need to decide for yourself if this is something you will continue to put up with or not. If you continue to be with your husband then you will have to just forget about your own feelings when it comes to him and the cats. You can even find a hobby to take your mind off of the issue. Find something that you love to do that takes you away from the house. But if you decide that you have had enough of the situation because you know that he won't change and you know that this is how he has always been and will continue to be, you will have to leave him and the cats behind and move forward with your own life. Finding your own happiness as your husband has in his cats. It is out there, you just have to make the first step toward it and get out of a bad situation. It will be hard, but you will find happiness in the end. I hope that I have given you some insight on your issue. Thank you for choosing Just Answer!

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