My lover works away at sea. 3 weeks at sea and three weeks leisure time. His wife lives in a flat in her home town in one part of the country and he lives in a house in the town he grew up in another part of the country. They seem to love each other but he doesn't want to live in her hometown and she doesn't want to live in his hometown. They get on really well when they're together and both wish that the other one would commit to moving to their respective hometown. On his three weeks off he spends time in her flat and then travels back to his house to spend the rest of his time at his hometown. I live in the same town as he has his house. He is absolutely adamant that there is 'nothing' at all wrong with his marriage. He goes out of his way to tell me that. He said 'I won't tell you lies my wife and I never argue and we get on really well.' When he tells me this the tone of his voice becomes louder and strong.' She lived in his house in his hometown with him for 3 years but asked if he minded if she moved to live in her hometown as she gets lonely in his hometown and gets very unhappy there. She is adamant that she doesn't want a divorce. They don't have children together and do not want any. He has had a vasectomy and she is not maternal. He said that because he works away a lot it wouldn't be fair on her to expect her to live in his hometown. He does look very hurt about the situation though. This is his 3rd marriage and he seems devastated about the situation they are in. He never says a bad word about her and she told him that she does not want a divorce even if it means she has to move back to his hometown. He did tell me he married her thinking she would be living in his hometown and had he known she would want to move back to her part of the country he wouldn't have married her.
Question is where does all this leave me? I have heard that he is a womanizer but he seems absolutely smitten and over the moon to be seeing me. He has also said that if his wife was living with him properly he wouldn't be having an affair. I said to him 'Why do you need an affair?' He replied in an assertive tone that he doesn't need an affair but that when he saw me he fell for me. He was bowled over and wanted me for 2 years until he finally plucked the courage up to talk to me. I told him I'm trying hard not to fall in love with him. I thought this might frighten him off but he replied saying that he could easily fall in love with me. I need to ask you what you think is happening here. He's told me he likes me a lot but on the other hand he likes his wife a lot as well. I'm confused. I'm not jealous of his wife but I'm jealous of the nice feelings he has for her. He has said he will never disrespect me and won't hurt me. Our relationship has only been going for about 6 weeks so its a very short time but the more we see each other the deeper the feelings become for both of us. He seems terrified of losing me. Please let me know your feelings on this situation. I'm confused because he likes his wife so much. I don't think he knows what to with his personal life. He says one day he will be retired and then they can spend much more time together but on the other hand he says that he will spending less time going to her hometown. He's seems very frustrated and confused with the situation and is hurt that she couldn't settle with him in his hometown. Please help me to see more clearly into this situation as my marriage is also confusing. My husband is nice to me but as I've explained to you before things aren't normal.