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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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My ex left me about 5 weeks ago...says we lost the romance

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My ex left me about 5 weeks ago...says we lost the romance and passion and had issues with distance, and being overwhelmed by my daughter (she has special needs). She started dating someone 2 weeks ago (older man 15 yrs her senior), but basically is telling me its a rebound. We still talk (well email, IM, and text almost everyother day (sometimes everyday)). She says she doesnt want to rekindle but she wants to "keep our connection" anyway we can, still thinks about me all of the time, and says that I was the best thing that happened to her but cannot due to the above reasons. Does she want to be just in the "friend zone"?
She may just want to remain friends. However, I would not feel comfortable in a relationship with someone who can not handle my child because if they love me then they need to accept my children as well. So you may want to consider if this is a type of relationship that you want to be in. In regards XXXXX XXXXX other issues you can try and work on those. In any case I would say keep in contact and communicate. However, she needs to be fair to you and the other person she is dating. Go with how you feel and take it day by day. Seems like she wants to keep you as a friend in order for the possibility of a future relationship just in case she decides that. Looks like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. That is okay as long as you are comfortable with that. I wish you all the best!
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Ok thank you...Yeah it is hard but I thought she was using my daughter more as an excuse to finalize the breakup. I guess i should be more clear on what she said. She said that she cannot go back " do still want to communicate with you and yes friendship is all I can offer you anymore." Kiss of death? Can it ever be rekindled?
Kinda like the kiss of death, but you never know. It sure can be rekindled, but the problem is if you want to wait around and let her call all the shots while you stay stagnant. All about your willingness to say "wait for her". That is up to you, but if you can handle being her friend then thats a good start unless you think better for you to cut off contact. That is something you need to think about, but I wish you all the best with your decision and with the relationship if indeed it is the best for you!

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