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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1363
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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My boyfriend has broken up with me over a trust issue. I am

Customer Question

My boyfriend has broken up with me over a trust issue. I am really sorry for my mistake , but he did not accept my appology and called it off. I want to know if there is a way to save my relationship.

I tried to befriend with his girlfriend that he told me he is finishing his relationship with, and some of his friend on facebook anonymously. He got to know and asked me if I know such a person I denied and denied and had to send him few messages from that ID pretending that it is a real person (such a childish act on my part ) .

He broke up with me and does not want to be with me anymore. I really want him back , we can make eachother really happy if we past this situation.

Please advise if you think there is a way to do so or if it is not possible.

We got back to each other after 4 years about 5 months ago :(
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 3 years ago.
I understand you may want to get back with him right now, but the issue is he does not feel he can trust you due to what you did. However, it does not mean that you can not build that back up. The problem is words will not help this. Only time can show him this. I would say let him know how you feel and assure him that you will change. However, you must give him space to think. He may take you back and you will need to prove to him you have changed and he can trust you. You can ask him to get back together to give you a chance to prove yourself or he may not want to do that right now. You may need to prove yourself by being separate. If he decides to not stay with you right now then I would suggest you just take time to work on yourself to understand why you did that, so you do not do it again. It is not just that one issue, but you can get to know yourself better in order to not do things like hat again and meanwhile he will be having space and you can be his friend and let him know you are there for him. That way he will see you are mature and being patient then your relationship can absolutely grow again and be even stronger than before. Just take it slow. The fact that he was upset by this shows that he is serious about your relationship which is a good thing, so let him know you value it and just be patient. I wish you all the best!
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Well the problem is we are living in 2 different countries , there wont be any other chance as he will move on with his life.

I totally know why I did this and am really over it. I have explained it to him as well , but he says he cant live with some one that he cant trust. There is no way I can prove by my action as we wont see eachother :(


I am visitng his country next week, I needed to get a usb from him , after all he agreed to see me for only 5 min to give me that and mentioned no discussion about our relationship :(


I dont know what to do ?

Expert:  Jen Helant replied 3 years ago.
I understand what you mean and that is a very difficult situation. I would say meet with him and ask if the two of you can at least talk for a few minutes. At that meeting you can explain how sorry you are again and why you did it. Ask him if he can give it one more try for you to prove yourself even if he wants to start the relationship slow as friends let him know you are oak with that. That way at least you will maintain contact and have a better chance better than none. Worse case if that does not work out you can write him a letter. Unfortunately that is all you can do. You can not change how he thinks or feels even force him, but you can do your part, which is the most. If that does not work I would say continue with your life and try to move on if it is meant to be it will definitely be. You can also continue to write him letters or contact him on the computer with giving him space as well, but while still maintaining contact. Please try this and I am here to help if you need after your meeting with him. I wish you all the best in saving your relationship with him!
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 3 years ago.
Hi..I noticed that you did not accept my answer, so I was just wondering if I could clarify or help in any other way. Also, if you had any comments or would like some more feedback. Thanks so much and I hope I could be of help!
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 3 years ago.
Please let me know if I can be of further help. Thank you!

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