I dont think that he would be willing to do any of this as our situation is very complicated. I need a more detailed solution that would help me to be pro-active and something that can provide results
We have been seeing each other for just over a year, however he is in another relationship that he cant leave as his partner would become terminally ill if he did. Neither of us are married,however he is engaged. He is not leading me on as he is honest and open about his life,he does have genuine feelings for me, that much i do know and can judge. I am not currently in an official relationship but I am in frequent contact with my ex-boyfriend who would pursue a relationship with me if I gave him a proper chance to do so as i am quite confident that he loves me deeply. He doesnt know anything about my current relationship.
I told him about an awkward situation with another one of my ex'es who i broke up with after a certain incident a few years ago. I ended up speaking to that guy again about 2-3 years back and started dating him again(before i even met and got together with the guy im in love with) The part that i shared with him very recently was that i got back together with this guy and gave him a chance and also had physical relations with him.
He currently doesnt want to speak to me about it and ignores my attempts to make it better. He did say that he does still love me and cant change that but that love isnt all that makes a relationship work. He said he doesnt know if he can forgive me or trust me again. Its very difficult for him to trust and confide in a person and once he's disappointed or hurt, he doesnt usually give the person another chance.
I trust this information will remain private and personal
I am sorry to hear about this.
First and foremost when other relationships are ongoing, it is not possible for either of you to establish a mutually satisfying relationship that will have any reward in the long term.
No on can maintain genuine, mutually satisfy relationships when there is a "Triangle" and other people are involved. This is something that occurs when someone has a significant conflict between what they THINK and what the FEEL.
In reality, a relationship requires 1:1 mutual commitment and when a third person is involved....."HE IS ENGAGED" and in this case if you are entertaining any idea that you can repair the relationship other than to realize that it may be best for you to move on will only be an exercise in disappointment.
Here are Traits of what makes a HEALTHLY RELATIONSHIP:
Healthy Relationships -- What Do They Look Like
This is a guide to help you see what is lacking in your relationship and what you should be looking for in a relationship in that is going to provide what you deserve.
If he is unresponsive and ignoring you, there is nothing you can do to change him.
This is an indication that he sees the relationship as OVER and I think you would be best served by respecting this and not trying to resurrect a relationship which is already filled with dysfunctional traits.
You deserve a relationship without all of this drama. Saying Goodbye is a difficult process, however based on what you have written and relying on 35 years of working with couples I think this would be best for you.
The following link explains the process of ending a relationship (in a healthy way)
I think you will find it helpful.
If you have further questions- FEEL FREE TO CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Otherwise, I trust that I have provided some helpful direction.
I APPRECIATE YOUR POSITVE RATING SO THAT I RECEIVE CREDIT FOR MY TIME AND EXPERTISE