I have had an undefined relationship for seven months. He is in limbo with a relationship of 18 years with an alcoholic. He had her move out three years ago. They were never married. He has become very dear to me. I would say most trusted and dearest friend. He has said similar things about me. What do I do? I feel he needs to make a decision but I do not want to lose him in my life.
I have been enjoying his company. I am afraid to give him an ultimatum regarding the ruins of his relationship with his "ex". I am 40 years old and have not experienced a relationship so deeply rooted.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effectiveDear friend, This is a work in progress, and if you just allow it to continue, it will keep growing. The longer you stay together, without putting any conditions on him, the stronger your bond will grow.Where she shows him darkeness you must show him light. At a certain point you will both know that somehow you will have to take the next step forward. In the mean time, keep doing what you are doing and growing together in mutual need of one another. There is no reason to be hasty now. I believe that this will succeed for you if you just keep the timing right. Not too short, and not too long. Right now it is developing wonderfully, from what you say. Use that virtue of patience and you will succeed.If you wish to get back to me with more information, please hit the reply button. Do not hit the ratings of BAD or POOR, as this puts negative feedback on my permanent record. Please allow me to have the opportunity to serve you with a better answer. I am concerned with this new rating system because I do this for a living. Thank you so much.I wish you the best in using your patience to hold on to the love of your life. You will get there.Warm regards,Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Licensed, National Certified; college prof;35 yr experience