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JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 349
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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My boyfriend has broken up with me over a trust issue. I am

Customer Question

My boyfriend has broken up with me over a trust issue. I am really sorry for my mistake , but he did not accept my appology and called it off. I want to know if there is a way to save my relationship.


I tried to befriend with his ex and some of his friend on facebook anonymously. He got to know and asked me if I know such a person I denied and denied and had to send him few messages from that ID pretending that it is a real person (such a childish act on my part ) .


He broke up with me and does not want to be with me anymore. I really want him back , we can make eachother really happy if we past this situation.


Please advise if you think there is a way to do so or if it is not possible.


 


We got back to each other after 4 years about 5 months ago :(

Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 2 years ago.
Welcome to JustAnswer! I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. Please note, this is not therapy, but advice. I do hope I can help you though. I am sorry you are in this predicament. Yes, I believe there is always hope. I am going to outline about five steps to what I hope will bring healing to your relationship: 1) Acknowledge the damage done. It sounds like you have at least partially done this. You have shown a lack of trust in your boyfriend and at the same time betrayed his trust. You have brought this upon yourself and the first step to healing is acknowledging that. 2) Address the reason why there was the lack of trust to begin with. Why did you feel you must spy on him this way? Had he done something to lose your trust to begin with? What was it? What steps are you willing To take to address that issue? 3) Apologize again and even again. Find different ways to apologize. Express to him again that you really are sorry for your actions. 4) Act differently this time. You have apologized before, now back up your words with your actions. Prove your sincerity with your life. Show that you trust and are now trustworthy. 5) Accept his timing and response gracefully. The damage you have done was evidently hurtful. Give healing time. Don't even expect A response. Just apologize and make up for it because it's the right thing to do. If you will earnestly follow these steps and give the. A chance, there is a good chance you will be forgiven. This process has worked for multitudes. Hopefully it will work for you!I hope I have been helpful to you! Let me know if you have wuestions.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

well the problem is , he is not answeering my calls.


 


I was planning to send him email , every day or other day .


But We are in 2 different countries , I really dont know how to back up my words with action and prove that I am trust worthy?

Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 2 years ago.
Well, that does complicate things. You really need to be patient. I would say send him one email explaining how sorry you are and that you realize the wrong you have done. Let him know you are going to leave him alone for a few days, giving him time to process through the ordeal...then back off a few days before you follow up. I am guessing that might be the actions we are referring to. You evidently have a tendency to smother and control. Let him know that you are backing off and then keep your word. Not speaking to him is liable to speak volumes. There are no guarantees but it is worth a try!
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 2 years ago.

Ok, I am sorry. I see now that you are not being prompted by the site to rate. They have changed everything and it is confusing. Hopefully this will work. Remember, unless you give me a positive rating I will not be credited for my service to you. Once again I apologize for the confusion. Thank you!

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