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I am 38 and a 26 year old is hitting on me. He is very attractive

 
CoachJenK's Avatar
  • Answered by:CoachJenK
  • LMSW, CPC
  • Positive Feedback: 98.6 %
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Customer Question

I am 38 and a 26 year old is hitting on me. He is very attractive but he's 26. I want something long-term. What should I do?

 



Already Tried:
I communicate with him since he is my personal trainer. I am attracted to him. I haven't been in a relationship of any kind for 3 years. I kind of don't trust my feelings on the situation. But, I don't know what I should do?

Submitted: 303 days and 6 hours ago.
Category: Relationship
Value: $15
Status: CLOSED

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Expert:  CoachJenK replied 303 days and 6 hours ago.


CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

If you have the desire to pursue it then go for it....take the risk but you may be in different places in terms of desire for a relationship. The only way to truly know is to take a chance.

CoachJenK :

HI

JACUSTOMER-1hm3g0v8- :

Hi, CoachJenk. So, I should just say......what?

CoachJenK :

well you think he is hitting on you...what tells you that?

CoachJenK :

we can go from there.

JACUSTOMER-1hm3g0v8- :

Well, I casually flirt with him (he's my personal trainer) and I asked him if he would miss me this weekend. He said only if you miss me. I said I miss you now. Then he texted me a picture of him without a shirt on. Today he said I can't wait to see you. I haven't done this in 3 years so I am assuming he is attracted to me. I don't kno where to start.

CoachJenK :

oh absolutely he is flirting....um hellooooo. so it comes down to if you want to take it on and possibly only have it be about being flirty and casual as it is unclear if he would want something more.

JACUSTOMER-1hm3g0v8- :

Do I ask or would that kill everything...What are your expectations of us getting together?

CoachJenK :

i wouldnt ask I might just get your flirty ame on and then let yourself see if he takes it to the next space and asks to get together.

JACUSTOMER-1hm3g0v8- :

I won't come across as too easy if I keep flirting with him?

CoachJenK :

He is flirting with you so why not flirt back...any harm in that?

CoachJenK :

I am of the mind set that we live for the moment and so if it feels right and fun and you are up for some fun then enjoy yourself.

CoachJenK :

If you feel that he only wants sex or something too casual and that is not for you then yes step out of the ame

JACUSTOMER-1hm3g0v8- :

I don't want him to think I'm a tease. I'm not used to having my hair down, so to speak.

CoachJenK :

do you feel like letting it down a bit?

JACUSTOMER-1hm3g0v8- :

yes

CoachJenK :

ok so it seems like we are going to have some fun.

CoachJenK :

the flirting and the teasing works both way so why the worry that he will think you are easy or just atease,

CoachJenK :

to me it sounds fun...the only concern i would have is that if you are desirous of a long term relationship only and he is not in that space that you will feel hurt. But f you can deal with the not knowin for now then all is ood.

CoachJenK :

sorry my keys are apparently sticking and some of the letters werent showing up in that sentence above.

JACUSTOMER-1hm3g0v8- :

My last relationship was pure hell. So, maybe I owe it to myself to have some fun. Right?

CoachJenK :

yes I am proud of your strength and desire after coming out of something difficult. So yes go for it and enjoy for whatever it is.

CoachJenK :

you are entitled.

CoachJenK :

let it all play out and enjoy the flirt too...how fun!

JACUSTOMER-1hm3g0v8- :

Ok. I'm going to try it out and see if it fits. I can always return it if it doesn't fit. I have to learn to relax and have fun. Thanks for your advice. Wish me luck.

CoachJenK :

I do wish you luck and yes enjoy it all and you can step out anytime you are not comfortable. Come back and ask for me anytime. Please offer a favorable rating for me now if I have been helpful and supportive...anything less than that and I have not done my job.

Expert TypeLMSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Pos. Feedback: 98.6 %
Accepts: 688
Answered: 6/28/2012

Experience: Providing the utmost care and support.

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