I am still confused by my lover. We have moved on now , but not living together. We have had a lovely weekend away. I know he loves me and enjoys my company. He used to completely shower me with compliments etc, but now I rarely get any. I dont ask for any or ask him why, but feel I now need to ask this as I feel he is not right for me as a long term partner. I dont see any sparkle in his eyes for me or the real love. he holds me tight and close and shows love but I wonder why the expressions have gone or if he just doesnt realise how it makes me feel.
being myself, not saying anything. complimenting him and listening and understanding him. being my usual loving and caring self.
Hello. There are many reasons for some of the 'spark' to fade in a relationship. A lot of times, it's just time that does it. Humans are animals after all, and a lot of times after the 'courting ritual' the male gets his female, his priorities change. He may very well not have any clue that he is doing this and his feelings probably haven't changed, you are just in a different phase. While it is important to keep the expressions in a relationship, sometimes it just happens. I would consider mentioning it to him, but not in any type of accusing way or why don't you do this anymore statement. I would say it like, "I love our relationship and the way everything is going. Spending time with you is the greatest thing and we have a great time together. I miss some of your compliments sometimes and hope you are still just in love with me as you were in the beginning, because I feel even more for you every day."Keep a lot of positives in however you choose to say it and then say how you feel, but don't say that HE makes you feel this way. If you leave it open as if to say that you may be reading into it wrong, then you are not placing any blame or making him feel like he is falling short in some way.
Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist