Hi,I decided this year to get my life back, i have suffered depression,lost of jobs,my life in general has been pretty miserable due to the way i allow people to treat me. I was raped when i was 18 years old, my parents forced me into a marriage , and left me abroad.My partner hasn't never made a life with me ,not really, i've done all the work,paid all the bills,i've given him my whole self. everything has been on me, i do everything. All i ever wanted from was for him to keep me safe, show me i can be love, i've given my whole self, always loved him.I sseked advice of a spiritual person in regards XXXXX XXXXX life ,job etc and i got alot of closure from it , i feel more confident with my choices however self esteem is hard to find. I found out my partner been seeing a lady, purely platonic, however they both wanted to be physical, i believe that here was alot of bodily contact and the urge was great, he felt like he loved her, confided in her .Me i don't even get noticed, half the time , he doesn't even ask me how i am , how's my days been etc. When i have challenged this, he says i am boring, i speak out of context,don't know what i am alking about , again when i chalange him and say why don't you do things with me , get to know me , i'm actually i fun ,nice person. he's not interested though, i feel like i have to always prove i am worth being with, nothing i do interest him.He never initiates sex, he says that if i want him to be interested in me, then i am expacted to get dressed up,high heels the lot.Surely having a natural affeection towards me? Sex always have to start with oral , always for him, i never get treated, or have time spent on me.When i confronted him about this, he says it's all my fault, i'm a negative,depressive ugly person.