My name is Dan. I would be happy to try helping with your question if you are available.
yes i'm here
Narcissists can be difficult. Can I ask first how old you are, so that I may better understand the point you are at in your relationship with your mother?
I see that you are offline. I will try to answer your question the best I can and get some clarification later if needed.
Narcissists can be frustrating but relatively easy to "deal with" with some understanding of of they think and act. The real problem is how you protect yourself while in a relationship with one.
Narcissists tend to be very fragile and insecure. Their behaviors are aimed at giving themselves a boost or making themselves look better, often at the expense of others.
To deal with your narcissistic mother the first and most important thing that you must do is develop and maintain your own boundaries. Do not allow yourself to accommodate everything that she expects. You must be prepared to say no and to walk away if she tries to put you down, hurt you or your feelings to her advantage, or simply when you are not feeling respected or treated the way that you deserve to be treated.
It will be very difficult to get her to consider your feelings, unless you become somebody very important.
Basically, look after yourself. Walk away when you need to. Don't ask or expect empathy or concern.
If you come back online please let me know some of the specific things that you are struggling with. This will allow me to be more helpful; more specific and less vague. I look forward to helping you further in the future. Thanks.