My son in law has a good friend from college getting married in another state next weekend. My daughter was supposed to go, but since the baby came and she is breastfeeding him, she won't be able to go now. She really wanted to go, but being at home is more important and she does not want to take a newborn on the plane. She is sad because her husband will not stay home and is going anyway plus he is going hunting in two weeks in another country for a week . I say this is not right leaving her for the wedding since he is leaving the following week for a week. What do you think?
Hi and thanks so much for writing to JA. I was wondering if you thought your son in law's friend planned his wedding to coincide with your daughter's childbirth> is that something that was intentionally done? Sorry to ask you this but it was not clear from your post, but did they plan that>? thanks so much for the additional info. Cathy
It does not sound like it from your post but I would like to be sure first.
No It was not planned. The friend didn't even know the due date.
My daughter and son in law planned the trip thinking that they could take the buy too and of course after the baby came and exhaustion, breastfeeding and pumping set in, things didn't seem as easy plus they decided the baby needs to be older to travel out of state and on a plane. Her husband was going regardless and it is his college friends that he hasn't seen in 3 years. It will be mostly husbands and wives, so that is bothering my daughter too.
Take the baby i meant to say
sorry i pushed accept instead of reply
I'll wait for your opinion
Perhaps I can be of help. These are always difficult decision at this point in a marriage. Moms with a new infant often feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and depend on the support of their spouse. Some husbands are not as sensitive to this as they could be. It sounds like you're daughter is nervous about being alone with the baby for several days without, what she sees as, a really good reason. At the same time, it doesn't sound like she has come out and asked him to skip one or the other of these trips. That seems like an important step if she hasn't done it. If after expressing herself, he still feels he should go on both trips, perhaps because reservations or tickets can't be canceled, your daughter will likely need some extra support during the days he's gone. I don't know how close you or other family members live, but perhaps someone could drop by in the evening to give help and support. If this isn't realistic, an alternative is to stay at a family members home for a day or two. Hopefully, knowing that someone will be there for her will sooth some of her anxiety.
17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.