she says she wants to meet me but every time we arrange something she cancels at the last minute. Does she like me or not?
we've been for a walk once a few months back. arranged nights out into town that never happen & cinema dates that haven't happened yet. I keep getting excuses at the last minute but she says she still wants to go. A few months ago she said she didn't like me, but tomorrow night we were supposed to be going to the cinema & I she invited me to stay at hers. I don't know if she likes me or not?
We talk quite often on either facebook or twitter, sometimes texts too.
Not particularly. When we went on a walk she seemed to have a shy voice but she was talkative. She thought I was put off because she is tall & I mentioned it, but I'm also tall so it doesn't bother me but I can't make her see that.
I know if I put a stop to things it'd seem like she be too bothered, whereas if she said no it feels like it'd hurt me more.
And I want to go out & get to know her, and if things don't work out at least I can say I tried, rather than not try at all.
But it's hard when I arrange things & I get knocked back.
No because there have been times where I've had to cancel but not as often or a recent as her.
But when we say this is the day we will definitely go out she cancels.
Well she says she wants to go out & she'll arrange something.
She's always telling me about other people she's met on nights out and the reason I think she might like me is this might be her way of trying to make me jealous?
I do, yes. But I'm afraid if I ask I won't get the answer I want.
It's just in April she said she didn't think a date was a good idea, but last week she invited me to stay at hers. So I'm kind of torn between two minds at the moment.
When she invited me I asked where I'd be staying, because I wasn't sure (as of the knock back in April) . She replied with "I have a bed but if that bothers you so much there's a spare room or sofa".
I said her bed was fine & she seemed to go along fine with it after that, then we had a good chat & both seemed fine with each other.
After we'd been out to the cinema because the film finished late, so I said am I okay to stay over just to be sure & she said it was fine.
What do you mean?
I'm not sure. The reason she cancelled tomorrow is because she has work the next day, but more importantly because she told me her Dad was at home & she didn't expect that.
She said she'd rearrange our cinema date. If she does off her own back, to be honest, I'll be surprised.
By that I mean she actually comes out of the blue & asks, not me talking to her first or prompting it.
Well when she said I couldn't stay at her tomorrow I couldn't go because I'm not allowed to drive at night. So she said leave it for now & it'd get rearranged.
As for a relationship, we've only ever met in person once. I think if we saw each other say tomorrow for example & then again soon after, things could progress.
It's just trying to get that first one in that's the problem.
But then why would she invite me to stay at hers?
It is really odd. That was probably my fear talking because on Tuesday this week she invited me on a night out with her this Saturday, then immediately said after that she didn't think I'd like it because of the places she was going.
I will do. How long should I leave it? Baring in mind she works Mon-Fri and will probably go out on Friday & Saturday night.
Last Sunday she was supposed to be coming out with me on a night out just round town. She didn't come & got in touch the next day asking if it was a good night & she said she thought she was uninvited because I didn't get in touch, even though it was her who said she was coming on Sunday so I was waiting for her to text me a meet time.
Well like you said, when I ask her if she wants to go out she says yes. So even if deep down she means no I still get a yes.
So I never get that straight yes or no answer which would make life easier.
I said to myself last week if she didn't come out on Sunday it was last chance saloon & I'd move on. But then she was in touch wanting to arrange meeting etc.
She says she feels bad when things crop up at the last minute, but like you said maybe I'm just being messed around.
She's just confusing.
Here's what we exchanged earlier...
Me: When can you go?
Me: When can you go? Her: Don't know. Me: Do you even want to go? Her: Just leave it for now and i'll let you know when i can. Me: I get the hint. Her: Urgh, there wasn't one but whatever. Me: Yeah but it feels like it cause every time I ask you to come out you don't. Or that you don't want to. Her: I do its just something always comes up. I'm not doing it to be a bitch. I feel like a right knob every time I do. But its not my fault.
So, this is why it's confusing!
I'll leave it a few days, then probably ask if she's thought of arranging anything. If she says no, I'll end it.
Thanks for your help, much appreciated.
17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.