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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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my partner loaned me £4500 to buy a car(we have been together

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my partner loaned me £4500 to buy a car(we have been together for 9 months) she had offered twice before but i refused her saying her daughters came first but she insisted saying it was only sat in the bank doing nothing. i offered to makeher a payment not long after she got me the car but said there was no rush and was laid night,whilst i was not there she went thru my bank account and saw i owed £300 on a store card and was overdrawn at the bank £170. she had loaned her son in law money previously and later found out he owed thousands and he never told her.she said if i had told her about my own debts she would have helped me clear them but because i kept my own financial plight personal,compares me to her son in law now.I am in the dog do i win back her trust and respect ?. prior to this incident, we got on fine ,never rowed and loved each other deeply
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 4 years ago.
Hello. I think this situation will eventually blow over with some time. You didn't say how long ago this happened, but I would just give her a little bit of time to think about the severity of this. If you can at least get her to the point where she will talk to you, you can explain your reasons for not discussing your personal debts with her. While you may not have told her about it, she is the one who went through your personal things. She is not 100% clean in this when it comes to trust! If you both had a great relationship prior to this, love should prevail. In the grand scheme of things, this is not a serious offense in most relationships. If she views this as a deal breaker, then I would be concerned about how she would handle future issues which come up. She should be willing to at least discuss these things with you. It seems as though she is over reacting a bit, especially since she is the one who went through your personal effects!
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