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Alicia_MSW
Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 596
Experience:  Specializing in relationship/family counseling
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yes, i was thinking along the line of relying on my own intuition

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yes, i was thinking along the line of relying on my own intuition instead of horoscope.. do u think reading helps cuz being more articulate, with more words, would also help intuition, as in able to describe it better, knowin more words..etc ? or whats other ways to get in touch/in tune with ur intuition...?

Anyhow.. i was gona say, this situation actually make me feel as if i'm in my own nightmare, and can't wake up or sth...! seriously.. & does that sound really bad..as in, is it such a bad situation for me to say that..?

i guess, all this could've been avoided, if i just been more "mindful"..like you said,
maybe if i tell u more abt my background, u'd be able to tell me if that has to do w/ my issue/situation now...?
i'm like a loner now..and sort of a strugglin immigrant here..that's might also b one of the reasons i moved, cuz there was a problem with my status & like i said, i thought i may have to leave within a certain time.. altho' i think.. that was one of my distractions on moving, like trying to keep promise to my friend....both maybe my loner, possibly "avoidant personality disorder" (i just search and found that name..) that also affected my action, decision..trying to run away, being too self-conscious at the time...etc,

do you think i should try to explain why i moved to the guy if i see him.. & try to find out from him the 'what ifs'? as to what would've happen or sth like that.. to find out if he'd also have moved out regardless.. & with us, him& me.. ??

before coming here, i've stayed at few other different countries..also went to canada for school 1/2 way and came here..&.maybe i never outgrown the phase of not fitting in, or belong in the place..

do u think it maybe my tendency to run away from problems.. also not able to say no to people.. that cause this...
my work situation with family whom i'm helping, also got affected by the move, that i thought i was leaving the country, so there were also alot of changes regards XXXXX XXXXX at work.. it's just all so complicated, i just want to give up and go back home, to taiwan.. but my status pending also restrict that cuz if i leave now, i'd kinda give up all 8 or so years that i've been here already for the status.. do u think its worth it for me to stay or just give up and go back..? given my messed up situation as described...


thank you
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Alicia_MSW replied 2 years ago.
Hi there!

I think it's great that you are turning more toward your intuitive side than the horoscope - although you can still use them for fun and guidance (as long as you use it in moderation, too, and not as a replacement for your own feelings). In my opinion, some of the ways that you can get in touch with your intuition include meditation (you might want to check out this website for starters, it has some free meditation audio clips you can use: http://www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm), prayer (if that works for you), and journaling - to get in touch with your feelings, desires, hopes/dreams.

It doesn't sound bad that you feel like you're lost, because it does make sense in light of what you've told me in our previous conversations. But try not to beat yourself up for feeling that way, either. Everyone feels lost sometimes. Mindfulness can help with that feeling, too - it can help you feel more grounded.

And it does make sense also in light of your status/ being a bit of a loner. Maybe you are also a bit of an introvert, or highly sensitive? (You might want to take the self-quiz on this website to find out: http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm)

I don't know if it's so necessary to explain to the guy why you moved out - unless you think it would make you feel better or help you somehow if you try to reconnect. It could be a way to re-open the lines of communication, which might lead to other things, as you mentioned...

It doesn't sound like you're running away from problems so much, and I think you have a lot of insight, actually. But maybe part of it is just that you've never really felt at home anywhere - and with your status being up in the air, it can make you almost feel like you're not really sure where you belong. I can't really tell you what you should do about your status, but it does seem that it would be a shame if you give up now after 8 years - you don't want that to be wasted for nothing. Being homesick is normal - but if you feel like you don't want to stay in the US, then you'd have a good reason to think about going back. I'd give it some more time and try to see what happens with this guy, because it seems like that's giving you the most anxiety right now.

I hope that helps!
Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 596
Experience: Specializing in relationship/family counseling
Alicia_MSW and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi
the meditation method..so as horoscopes, i think i was saying, are like ways to get more in tune w/ ur intuition, right?
& how about reading, do u think that'd help..

also, u mentioned, 'to see how it goes with that guy..' and that totally reminded me of how i should've took things.. just stay, for another month at the time.... & see how things go with him & my status.. and things could've been very different, more fun, he probably wouldn't be seeing someone now, he told me he is...

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(well, there was a kinda issue with landlord on the time limit, altho he gave me another month..., but also mentioned to raise rent, i don't know, im thinking about asking him abt that if i see him to pick up mail, to see how it seem like, if he'd really wanted to kick me out anyways at the time or what..?!) & the old place was also much better, bigger, luxurious, better location... why the hell did i moved to a less convenient, worse location, smaller, but cheaper rent.. yah that was one of reason, to save, but i'd rather to spend more & keep at work & maybe better lifestyle..?

well.., so back to that again, i don't know how to deal with this situation now, he's seein someone else.. it's too late,,,how do i see how it goes with him now if that's the situation, i should've done that, to see how it'd go with him b4, a year ago...! =(

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
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Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi Drfee

i liked ur answer, thanks very much.
but was clicking back and forth and end up clicking it's ok

anyways, i like especially the last part of your answer, where we tend to want to figure it all out, whereas answers comes in bits and pieces, so by that, do u mean, sometimes you don't have an answer for something, or something that happened, but after awhile, you may start to come up with other answers or ideas of whatever happened, correct?

also, about asking yourself question in quiet place.. i'm wondering, cuz my life has been pretty messed up for past years, since i lived in a den with constant noise and little privacy for about 4 years, do you think that could be why i havn't got a chance to really quiet down and ask myself things i need to figure out, and think for myself??

Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.
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