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Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 792
Experience:  Specializing in relationship/family counseling
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My partner and I have very opposite sex drives mine is high

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My partner and I have very opposite sex drives mine is high were as his is low. were constantly fighting about it. what can we do to solve this problem?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Alicia_MSW replied 4 years ago.
Hi, I'm Alicia. Thanks for asking your question - I'm happy to help you today.

The problem you're describing is not incredibly uncommon in many couples. Communicating openly about this without blaming each other is the first step, because fighting about it is obviously just going to make the situation worse. It can help if you are able to identify your needs and make a compromise. So, if you feel like you want to be intimate every day and he feels like he only wants it once a week, for example, you both have to recognize each others' feelings as valid and try to come to a middle ground - 3 times a week, perhaps. It's very important that you both become more understanding of each other - emotionally and physically - and acknowledge differences in each other's needs. Perhaps you also need to find a new way to excite each other and try something new - sometimes, desire can decrease if you're both feeling like you're stuck in a routine.

You also might be interested in reading this article, as it has a lot of helpful advice for handling this type of situation:

If there are other extenutating circumstances that could be affecting his desire (physical issues such as his taking certain medications or having a physical condition or psychological or emotional factors), then it might be helpful to consider professional intervention (i.e. seeing a counselor, sex therapist or a doctor, in the case of a physical issue.)
I hope that helps.
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