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JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 413
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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I have only been out of a four year relationship getting close

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I have only been out of a four year relationship getting close to two months now. I have recently met a person who very well could be the person of my dreams. I do have a bad habit of rushing into things. I am tyring to proceed with caution though. We have been talking via the phone daily. We had our first date and are planning a second. Our longest phone conversation was 2:43:50. We average over an hour regularly. We really like each other very much. We are very similar, and have similiar interests and desires. We both are very laid back. A dear friend of mine loves my excitement, however is concerned because she does not want me to get hurt again. She feels that I should focus on myself for a while. She called me a relationship hoe. Because I am going right from one relationship to another. Now mind you, nothing is official yet. We are still in the getting to know you stages. I know I am going head over heals. Apparently this is the same process as before, and well look where four years got me. My friend is trying to look out for me, which I totally understand. I really do like this new person. He already is aware of the recent break-up, as I had some postings on Facebook. He is not pressuring me into anything I am not comfortable with. I do enjoy spending time with him. I even gave him a Bamboo plant on our first date, which he said he placed in his kitchen window. He wanted a hug after he received the plant. My question is, is there a time frame to how soon to go into a new relationship. I realize I do need some work on myself, but I don't want to lose this guy either. We live about 1 1/2 hours from each other. He already said I should move closer. Well, he didn't know this, but that had already crossed my mind. I am considering replacing my two jobs with just one. Honestly moving closer to him is a great idea because there is nothing tying me to where I am living now. What is your recommendation? Thank you.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 4 years ago.

HI! I want to help you, but do have a couple questions. 1) How long have you known this gentleman? 2) Do you feel that you have resolved the issues from your past broken relationship? 3) What about this relationship reminds you of your previous one? 4) What makes you think it is different?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
We've been talking for a short while, maybe a couple of weeks. I probably have resolved the issues from the previous relationship. The big issue is I was wanting more out of the past relationship than I was going to get. I don't think there is anything that reminds me of the past relationship. I have more in common with this new guy, where as I didn't with the past one. The past guy was also very controlling and borderline abusive. This new guy is not like that. This new guy is older and acts his age, where as the previous one can and does act like a 5 year old.
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 4 years ago.
Honestly, it sounds like you might have a good thing going here. No, I wouldn't think there is a set time frame for moving beyond past relationships, but it doesn't hurt to be somewhat cautious. I would probably hold off on the job change and maybe give the relationship time to develop before doing anything drastic. Remember, it is your relationship, and in the end, your decision. I would give weight to what my friend is saying. There is definitely value to her insight There is nothing wrong with being sure before moving to far into the relationship. if he cares for you as much as it sounds he does he should understand the wait. Why not just date the gentleman and enjoy what you have for a while? I hope I have been of help. Please feel free to ask any more questions. I really do want to be of assistance to you.
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Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 4 years ago.
Hi! I appreciate you allowing me to help you maybe arrive at a solution the other day. I hope I was helpful. Let me know if I can help you in any other way.

John Michaels, MS, LPC
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
We spent the weekend together, just last weekend. We both like were things are going. We are trying not to rush into anything. Thank you for your help.
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 4 years ago.
I am glad I was able to help!
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 4 years ago.
Hi! I appreciate you allowing me to help you maybe arrive at a solution the other day. I hope I was helpful. Let me know if I can help you in any other way.

John Michaels, MS, LPC

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