Still no response...either my last text scared him off, his friend is worse, or was already done with me and was just being nice...but got tired of it. Until now - he at least responded to any text I would send him. :(
I know how upsetting this is for you. I would just like to believe that his focus is on his friend right now.
why would last text care him...it was lovely
I don't know - I've just never not heard back at all
yes and that is what makes me think it is about his friend and his stress level
what are you wanting to do?
But I feel like I have to prepare myself for the fact that it is actually me and he is done
well the two arent necessarily related....he may not want to continue dating you but it could have all to do with him and not you....I have said before you sound pretty terrific to me
I don't know what I want to do - I feel like if I don't hear back in about a week or so - I feel like I need to send him a note and just at least wish him well and let him know that if I did anything that I'm sorry....I don't know - so many of these things end w/o any real closure - but I have a problem letting this one end that way
I understand all that, and I would support you on that to write him in a bit if you dont hear so that you can have some closure if it turns out to be that
I'm really just tired - tired of being alone, tired of being left out of things by my sisters because they have spouses, tired of my ex-husband texting people while sitting on my couch ...and now my parents are moving 8 hours away and it is just all too much
It is alot and you deserve more. remember nathan though you do have so much
my company just reorged - so the size of the team I manage doubled in size and so did my responsibilities, I also had an employee that passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in January of this year - and I'm really just trying to keep everything afloat -
I know I have Nathan - and I love him more than anything - but it really isn't the same as someone choosing to love you and choosing to be with you - and being there to talk to about your day, and your work, and everything. I've just been w/o it for so long and I saw Dan as the first real possibility out there for me.
do you think you would benefit from some face to face counseling? I am not going anywhere I just want to explore all options.
And when my parents leave - Nathan will be crushed - and part of the 'village' that helps me with him - will be gone. And while I can take care of just about anything on my own - sometimes I do need to call my dad to help with something...the lawnmower broke, or whatever. I have to rely on him because I have no one else...and now he will be 8 hours away.
It is a tremendous loss...I feel for you and I am so sad they are moving.
I am here to support you and am not going anywhere. I can't fix the lawnmower but I can be your supportive ear.
I literally do not have the time...I found someone that I really liked after my divorce - but my hours since then have gotten crazier and time during the week that I'm not with Nathan - I'm working late. He is with his paternal grandparents this evening and before I reached out to you - I logged on remotely to my job to get some stuff done.
So seeing someone face to face is not really an option.
Ok, but promise me that if things feel to tough for you that you will somehow find the time for it.
I really cannot even promise that - things are too hectic and will only get worse as my job progresses and my parents leave.
what will you do to take care of yourself then? I am worried about you.
I have no idea. I have to work as hard as I do - because other than Nathan - my job is one of the best things that I have - and I have been with the same company for 20 years. Letting people down there is not an option so no matter how hard it gets I have to keep pushing forward. And as care for Nathan (summer and before/after school) becomes more of an issue when my family leaves - I'm sure his dad won't chip in to help cover any additional costs - he already does not pay me the full amount due (which is a separate issue).
You are under tremendous stress. Does it help to know at all that I am here whenever you need?
yes, it does
ok well then that is what we hang onto when you are feeling alone out there and need the supportive ear....I know it is not the same as being there with you, but I am here.
and if this doesnt work out with this man it brings up all of your feelings around the loss of your ex and now the loss of your parents as they move far away.
This is not an easy time for you.
Somehow I knew when Jen died (my employee...that I had actually known for 10 years) that this was not going to be a good year
and another loss for you.
and here my name is XXX....XX XXXXX it is her reaching out to you too!
As her manager - I had to go through this awful termination check list...getting her voice cut off, going through her emails, packing up her desk to give to her husband, getting her badge turned off, it was awful ... and all the while I had to support the rest of her teammates as they looked to me to figure out how they would get their work done day in and day out w/o breaking down into tears when someone asked them about Jen
Beyond awful for you.
you are strong for a lot of people
I'm not strong at all - if I was - I wouldn't be crying right now - as my two dogs stare at me like I've lost my mind. I wouldn't have left my the sale at my parent's house right after it ended because I couldn't take it anymore and because I was angry with my sisters for not being there - because they were on their way home from a week at the beach with their husbands
Without even knowing why - Dan probably made a pretty wise choice in walking away from me after two dates. Even though none of this came out to him - he probably sensed I had issues.
That doesnt make you not strong...crying is okay as you need to release all of these feelings....keeping them inside iw what continues the hurt. I absolutely think you are strong and all of the feelings you mentioned above are normal reactions.
I will not even agree to that nonsense...about dan.
maybe he is the one with the issues, or maybe he is preoccupied with his friend or his child or his work....
men dont think like us...they get involved with other things and dont realize that they need to reach out.
it doesn't matter - because once my parents are gone, I will have a hard time getting someone to watch Nathan if I went out on a date anyways
I am so sorry that you are going through all of this.
so I will just stay like this until he graduates from high school - ...I will be ... 50 then
I know you are not laughing but that one was funny!
I do my best to make you smile :)
its about you here not me...but you are funny.
I should probably just get back to work...I took off next Thursday to chaperone Nathan's field trip - so it is going to put me behind and I have alot of deliverables....
ok,well please take care and relax and breathe as best you can. I am thinking of you and am here if you need as you know.
I know...and now my head hurts, so I'm going to need to find some tylenol
btw - I hope you have a very happy Mother's Day tomorrow!
ok and a big glass of water. maybe you should watch the disney channel to relax a bit before you get back to work.
Thank you and you too. you are a wonderful mom and if you dont know that just ask Nathan
I probably will have to anyways - a virus scan is now running on my 'work' pc .. so my remote access is stalled...that usually takes forever to clear
so water, Disney Channel, and maybe work in a few hours
yes and maybe some chocolate?
and then back to my parents house in the morning for the second day of the sale
but hey - my beach tripping sisters will likely be there tomorrow :)
yes so let them do some work....
I will likely steer clear of them
whatever feels best for you.
I really do not want to know about their trip - which they did not even tell me they were taking...I didn't even know until they were gone
ok go help other people - bye - :)
Providing the utmost care and support.