My is constantly texting another man on her mobile phone. She goes into our walk in wardrobe. Closes the door and remains in there for extended periods at times. She tells me she loves me but now tells me she wants space and time. Does space and time mean our relationship is over. I'm so scared of loosing her to this man and she tells me there's nothing I can do about it if she decides to have sex with him. I'd appreciate any advice you can give me. Steven
I've tried to talk to her about it. She said she meet this guy on a dating site some week ago and has feelings for him but still loves me. She gets really angry though when I want to discuss it with her. Telling me she wants space and time
My name is XXXXX XXX I hold a Clinical Master's Degree in Social Work with a focus on Adult Mental Health. I currently provide general Life Coaching.
Hello. Please give me a moment to read your question
It sounds as though she has made up her mind, and has told you where she stands. Do you live together? Did something happen that caused this change in your relationship?
Why is she going into the closet? If she is being honest and upfront with you about it, why is she hiding it?
Are you married or just living together?
Are you still there?
I am not sure if the chat session got stuck. Please send a hello so i know that you are still there. Thank you
Based on what you are telling me, it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship for you. For her to be belittling you and giving you ultimatums is unite inappropriate.
Do you want to remain in the relationship with her? It sounds like a toxic situation that eventually will end terribly.
I notice that i made an error in typing, i meant quite inappropriate.
At this juncture, I don't believe there is much else you can do but to let her go on her way. It is extremely disrespectful for her to bring up a past relationship of yours. It seems as though she is trying to be hurtful to you.
In my opinion, it sounds as though she has to work out some problems with her therapist/psychologist. I am not sure that it would be the depression or anxiety that is causing this behavior, but I do believe that it may be best to let her try and figure out what she wants and is looking for. You may want to give her space.
She may have some deep seeded problems that she had begun to work on with her psychologist and you are the one dealing with the backlash and repercussions of her issues.
Exactly. This is a relationship that has become toxic for you. She is hurtful and threatening. I wish i could give you better advice, or a more pleasant recommendation, but it sounds like she is trying to intentionally hurt you. It may be best that you put the relationship on hold for a while until she figures things out.
I truly wish i could be more of a help, and its unfortunate that she is being so mean and hurtful. You may want to take the higher road and just end it before it gets messy. Did you tell her about this guy? Do you think she could have possibly sought him out, or even lying to make you angry.
You should realize that this woman is not quite right, and is a hurtful and selfish person. Just know that there are other woman out there that would value you just the way you are.
Don't allow her to make you feel any less than who you are. It seems that you have tried your best in this relationship, and unfortunately, she did not value you or the person you are in the relationship. Fortunately, there are people out there that would value you, the person you are, and your sincerity.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to explore who you are as a person, and what type of person you would really want in your life.
Don't allow anyone to dictate who you are as a person.\
I wouldn't put much thought into this gentleman. He obviously has a terrible character defect, especially because he chases woman that are already involved in relationships.
It is of course your choice, but to wipe the slate clean, you may just want to do that
If it isn't a terrible inconvenience to change your number. depending on your service provider, you may be able to block her from call you
I only wish i could've helped more.
Please don't hesitate to contact me with any further questions or concerns. I will check on you in a couple days to see how things are going.
Clinical Social Work
What Happens Now?Your chat has ended, but you can still work with your Expert to get an answer to your question if you have not yet received one.Come back to this page at any time to see additional information from your Expert. You will also receive an email when your question is updated. If you want to send a message to your Expert, use the box below.If you have already received a satisfactory answer to your question, click the Accept button above. Experts are credited for each accepted answer they provide.
Hi Stanto, Why do you think she had forwarded a SMS from this new guy to me. It just simply said ' what makes him say rubbish. He must not bhave loved kerrieif hem wanted you all this time. I don't understand the 3 way thing. I am a gentleman and wnont put the hard word on you . It will be mutual when and if it happens.' Does this mean she is intending to have sex with this guy or indicated to me it hasn't happened yet . I don't understand this text.
I don't understand the text either. I don't think you should dignify the message you received from her with a response. I believe she is just trying to get at you at this point. She is deceitful and hurtful and it is most likely best for you to simply move on.
I'm just curious, does it mean she telling me they haven tad sex or the intention is to have sex. It's weird I just don't get it. I'm terribly hurt today and she knows it.
I am not sure because the message doesn't make grammatical sense. I think she is trying to get you to talk to her. Have you kept quiet, and stopped communicating with her? I think you said you would change your number.
Yes no communication with her at all. I haven't changed my number yet. Been too weak.. This was the last mess she sent me before our communication stopped all together. Just can't work out what it means. Perhaps it's going o happen. An attempt for further hurt to me,
I don't think it really matters what it means or doesn't meant. I recommend that you delete it, and begin the mourning process of the end of this relationship. Then begin to move forward with your life, you deserve it.
I am just checking to see how things are going. I hope you are doing well.
I'm still in bed feeling really really down. I weakened and sent her a text asking if she was really with that guy and pleading for honesty. If so I'm not wasting my time waiting for her if it is so. Got no reply so I tossed my phone into the lake. I don't want another weak moment like that again. I'm assumed of my self for begging. I've done nothing wrong.
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. Th phone toss may have been the best thing you can do. Now you don't have her phone number accessible and you fang get a new phone with a new number. Just try and keep your head up. There is an old saying, "Fake it till you make it". It's actually from AA, but the point is to fake your happiness and eventually you may become happy. Just know you are better off without her. She did nothing but offend you and say hurtful things.I truly hope you feel better, and you are welcome to contact me with questions and concerns. I will schedule another follow up in a couple of days just to see if things are getting better. The best thing you can do now is fall back into a daily routine, whether that be going to work, then home, maybe a short walk around the neighborhood, and begin reading a new book.I wish you luck and feel better. You will hear from me in a couple days.