I like this girl, and I know she likes me. I had noticed her checking me out over a couple weeks at parties and at school. Then one night we met at a bar by chance and her friend hinted that she didn't like the guy that she was talking to and asked, she's gorgeous isn't she. I responded emphatically and the next day, she gave me the biggest smile. A couple times and every once in a while she gives me the biggest smile and sexiest eyes. Then she can be a little cool the next day. I kinda did the same thing. But I realized I was giving mixed messages, so one day I made sure to let her know, that I noticed and appreciated the little ways that she was nice to me. And since then, I have been sure to notice her and be friendly. So now, when she is by herself, she will smile or wave, but when she is with her friends, she plays it cool. I am willing to wait a good six months or so, because I know that by then, she'll realize that I'm not the player and she'll feel comfortable around me. 1) Is this a good plan? Also, the only way I think I can move the process along is by saying "hi gorgeous" to her while she is with all her friends, and giving her all my attention. The reason is that a lot of her friends carefully give me lots of eye contact and attention. I either completely ignore it or quickly look away because I know who I really like. I'm not a player, and I could care less about her friends. I think she is the hottest one, no compromise at all. What do you think of me going up to her when she is with all the girls that secretly check me out, over and over, and saying "hey gorgeous, how are you doing?"
just asking her how busy she is. Stopping by at the library and saying hi. She is very busy, we all are with finals. But when she has a drink or two in her, she gives me good feedback with smiles and by standing near me. Telling her how I appreciate the way she is nice to me.
My name is XXXXX XXX I hold a Clinical Master's Degree in Social Work with a focus on Adult Mental Health. I currently provide general Life Coaching.
please give me a moment to read your question. thanks
Ok. Do you go to the same college or university?
I feel as though you are taking a very stand offish approach to letting this person know that you like her. Have you thought of simply asking her out?
I am also unsure why you would wait 6 months. What are you waiting the 6 months for?
I hinted, and she made if very clear she was busy. We are in law school together and it is very delicate situation. Especially now because of finals. She seems to be very focused on doing extremely well. Also, I almost hooked up with her friend right in front of her one night before I she actually gave me any attention.
Ok. Now I have a better understanding. I am not certain whether you need to wait six months, and the non-verbal cues you are giving one another is great but maybe you can set up a study date.
That way you can spend some time with her and study at the same time. In my experience, study dates normally lead to a quick dinner or bite to eat and maybe a drink
I don't think you have to ignore her friends, just maybe pay more attention to her.
We are in the same library a few desks away from each other all the time. Sometimes she is inviting and I have sat next to her. But other times, she'll put her backpack next to her and be cool when I approach.
I am not sure that you can be sure she really likes you unless you engage in a conversation with her perhaps.
I realize you are very busy with school, but sometimes a quick friendly chat doesn't hurt.
The other problem is that, I like studying with her, but actually it distracts me. So, I'm waiting to talk to her when finals are over at an end of school party.
I do. I chat. Should I chat with her regularly then. Like every day.
I feel as though you waiting six months may make you mis this opportunity
I am not sure if everyday is necessary, but maybe let her know that you would like to take her out after finals are over
maybe you are right. i don't want to wait, I'm going to talk to her and try stuff, but I'm just saying that if it doesn't work by then, I'll know she isn't that interested.
take the temperature of the situation. Ask her if she would like that
I think your approach is too laxed
i think that you may be better off letter her know that you are interested in her more than just a friend, that you realize that she is busy but you would like to get to know her better
I sure she knows I want to take her out. I've taken the temperature many times. When I am more forth coming she, become cool. When I back off, she gets hotter.
Ok, if you say so. I'm going to tell her I want to take her out when finals are over. But I also wanted to tell her after finals, during the party that I want to take her out.
Well, I am of the belief that honesty is the best way to go. I just think that you may miss the opportunity
I don't want to miss the opportunity. That is my biggest fear. I would no regrets if I tried and failed. I want no regrets.
I am sure there are other guys that are interested in her, you wouldn't want them to scoop her up before you get the chance to ask her out
You would probably do best taken a very casual approach to the whole situation
Just let her know you are interested in her, that you would like to take her out, and that if she would like that to let you know when she is free
so casual, go up to her, see how the studying is going. Then see if she would like to go out after finals or when she is free.
The "Hey gorgeous" thing is a bit chauvinistic.
ok good, i won't do that
Perfect, you got it. casual and cool. No "hey gorgeous", maybe just say "hey, wzup"
I think you would have a great chance. just be yourself and be genuine.
So, with that said, what do you think?
I'll do that. There is an equal opportunity she'll say no. But from my past, I know that the longer girls know me, the more they like me. Even when they end up hooking up with someone in between. So I don't want to give up to easy.
I think you're best points were not to take it too lax. To try and be forthcoming. To be approach casually. I can do that. I'm not scared at all.
Exactly, let her get to know you right now, so once finals end she would be more opened and willing to go out with you
But I should still mention to her that I would like to take her out after finals. And even try later if she says no.
You say that the more a girl knows you the more they like you. Might as well start now. Yes, let her know that you would like to take her on a formal date after finals
You can also let her know that right now you wouldn't mind hanging out with her right now, and maybe being a study buddy
So, before we end the session, is there any other questions i can help you with. I want to make sure I was helpful and don't want to leave you with any questions.
I think that covers it.
ok, I am still here
If in fact she doesn't want to go out after finals. And then she starts avoiding me. I just move on right, and forget that she was so flirty in the past.
If in fact, after all of this she decides that she isn't into you and she was just being flirtatious with you, than you should chalk it up to some innocent flirting
All you can do is try and see what happens.
ok that covers it.
Clinical Social Work
Thanks. I will follow up in a couple days to check and see how things went.
Just checking in to see how things are going. Have you had a chance to talk with her?
Bro, I have no clue what is going on now. We finished our in class exams a couple days ago. I went to her and talked to her a couple days before and it was pleasant. She was real nice, she said good luck, and gave me a kind look. We also saw each other in the lounge among our various friends. She sat across from me on the couch and talked to some guy from her class. We said a few things to each other. When I would look at her she wouldn't turn towards me. Then when I was talking to my friend, she would turn and look at me. Then after the final. We were at the same party. I said hi when I saw her in the kitchen. She said hi. Then she and a couple of her girlfriends, and a guy who really likes her went and sat on the couch. She looked at me a couple times but I didn't want to follow her around and be one of those guys. So I had a great time with all my friends and stuff. At one point I noticed the guy was gone so I went over to talk. She has so much attitude some times. I mentioned the upcoming paper and she said that if i mentioned it again she would shove my drink up my ass. lol. I wanted to say something rude but I just took it really chill. She is a talker, but when I was there she was quiet. Anyway, eventually the party ended, and she left past me without saying anything. I am guessing that maybe she was embarrassed or something. Anyway.(By the way, now another one of her friends made a move on me. I ignored it.)I felt a little bad because she was talking to another guy. But then my Mom told me that sometimes, when a girl likes a guy, she can't really talk to him. So I don't know. Maybe she wants to reject me and wants me to take a hint. Or she likes me more now than she did before. Anyway, today, unlike other times when she would look right at me, she looked at me, and quickly turned away with an expression that she didn't want me to notice that she was looking. Eventually, I have to make a move one way or the other. But if you have any thoughts I would appreciate it.
I think it would be great for you to simply ask her for dinner, or to a movie. You continue to bide your time, and I believe she is either not into you or she is getting upset having to wait for you to make a move. I think the latter of the two is more real to life. You may lose your opportunity if you don't at the very least take a shot at it.
Ok I asked her out to dinner. After the awkwardness at the party and the next day, I finally asked her out to dinner the next time I saw her. This time, she was sitting in the library and as soon as she saw me she smiled. She was very sweet and when I asked her out to dinner after our final paper was due she said she couldn't because she was leaving town immediately afterward. I asked her when she would be back and she said in August. I asked how about then. She said ok. The next day I got her number. I also noticed that she is kind of secretive, she didn't want her friend to see me get her number. I kept my distance after asking her out. I also noticed that she was jealous when I was talking and laughing with a classmate. And for the first time ever, she walked by my table in the library and gave me a sexy "hi". I sent her one funny and friendly text when school was out and I haven't communicated with her since early June.