Hi - not sure if you remember me from last night...the person who was waiting for a text...
of course I remember. how are things?
my superhero mom
ok so I sent him a text this morning that said..." I wanted to drop in before the day got crazy to say 'Hi' and I hope your week is going well....Oh and to wish you a Happy Apple Blossom...:)" ....the Apple Blossom is local festival....parade...carnival thing - he works for the sheriffs department - so he has likely been pretty busy with that...and the biggest stuff starts today
He responded that yes it has been crazy with Apple Blossom this week and he hoped my week was going well too.... So I decided to be totally honest and give him an out - I responded with ":) Since you are crazy busy...do you want me to hang back & wait for you to text me so I'm not bugging you? :) (see how flexible I am...lol)"
Im on the edge of my seat...
his response was...."LOL! Not at all! Shoot me a text whenever :-)"
how do you feel?
so I continued being honest....
and said "ok...lol :) I was trying hard not to bug you couldn't take it anymore so I caved this morning...lol :) No one wants to be 'that girl'... :) " He responded with "LOL....your good :-)"
....so we bid each other a good day....and that was it...
And how do you feel about the interaction?
I did send him a text about 2 hours ago and said it was great weather for a parade and I hoped he was enjoying his Apple Blossom evening -- he is probably working the parade so I have not heard back from him yet
I'm not sure - I was relieved this morning - because I gave him an out
and are you ok and not crazy over not hearing from him?
but I don't know if maybe he didn't take it because he is just that nice
I'm ok with not hearing back from him yet ....
but now the same question...when do I text him again and was his 'Not at all' a good sign?
so whats bothering you about it cause it all sounds good to me
yes it sounds very much like how guys speak and him saying not at all all good is like us emoting for 2 hours
its crazy how we just communicate differently
I was worried that I gave him an easy out - but he didn't take it because he is so nice
they are more simple than us...and I dont mean that in a slighting way but we just need to feel it...they dont
no not at all. he wouldnt have responded. it would have been a perfect opportunity for him to say im hoping we could be friends blah blah blah
dont lose your superhero strong mom status...we worked hard to get it back last night
you are doing great
so when do I text him again...because it feels like I will need to keep being the first one...or maybe I let it go till Sunday evening since I know he will be working all weekend
yes if you can let it ride....
give him a day or two to think of you and want to hear your voice...or should I say text
I am so going to mess this up - I'd be much better if we already plans for our next date :)
no you are not. I am here to keep you in check
no worries. great girl, he knows that. his work is very focused.
that is true - I love that he has such an important job. Ok so even if I don't hear back from my earlier text - I'm thinking I will wait till Sunday evening to text him.
...and I need to somehow stop worrying about not getting asked out for another date...I'm worrying pretty far into the future -which is completely out of character for me
i know it will be hard...what can you do for yourself that you are not focused on him?
cause you like him
my son is with his dad - so tonight I'm finally home from work and I'm chilling. And tomorrow I have a hair appt...which takes forever. LOL and of course I need to mow my yard - give the dogs a bath - lol living on the edge
ok well hair appts always recharge your soul...stylist good one to talk to/ That can always be fun.
and I get my little guy back on Saturday night - so that totally occupies my brain
to be honest - I'm ok until it is time to fall asleep...I put my darn cell by my bed and try to fall asleep while I'm hoping it will buzz...then I'm crushed when I wake up in the morning and realize it didn't
ugh that is an awful space....say to yourself that he is working and it would be odd to hear from him
ok - I can do that and while I don't know for certain if he is working all day and night...I imagine he is or could be...
yes but you set up these things that if they are met it mean one thing and if they arent then it means something bad....take away those thoughts and meanings to things
does that make sense?
it does - but that is hard - it kind of has me leaving things to chance
and maybe after work he goes home and thinks of you too
w/o my analyzing them - and I worry I may miss an important step or something I need to do
leaving things to chance...ahhhh that notion that everything in our lives isnt chance?
ughhh....if he does - then he should text me...men are so aggravating...two weeks ago he did
I actually believe everything happens for a reason but I somehow think I have some level of control over that
so on your next date say to him what the heck happened you used to text and now poof the magic is gone?
when you become a mom you learn quickly that we have no control...you know that
if we have a next date - I'll actually stop worrying :)
ssshhhhh. no ifs...I have heard nothing that indicates there wont be one
no you wont then youll worry about the next thing....
so get yourself in check and remember how fabulous you are
lol...you could be right - I will likely worry until I feel like I mean enough to him to not just walk away
we all are afraid of people whom we love to just walk away...it is a risk we all take when we open our hearts...but whats the other option? lay on the couch and be without
I'm not sure - my ex-husband just walked away - we had been married for 12 years and just had our son - and somehow he was just done (oh and he had a 'work wife')
ugh I choose the first option even with the risk
ahhh now I see where the fear comes from.
I have been taking the risk - I've been putting myself out there - and this is really the first person that makes me worry
let me get a bit existential here...people come into our lives for a reason and your ex came into so you could have your beautiful Son
yes and in a weird way that is good news because it means you are healing and ready to love again...the good news and the bad news
I agree and we had at least 10 fantastic years - I would marry him all over again
and I am sorry he hurt you so
it's hard to be so hurt and have a small child around who you refuse to cry in front of
I could not even imagine....i commend you for that
how horrible for you
...and I see his dad at least twice a week - we have very flexible visitation and I want him to feel welcome - so he picks up and drops off our son from my house
and you look in his eyes and you feel the depth of your love for him and your heart aches
i mean your son
I know...I feel like we've let him down
no because he is getting wonderful love
so I try very hard for everything to be good for him - his parents get along, we don't argue, we are a unit for decisions, etc.
and that is so wonderful. so many others cannot do that
and then right in front of his dad - he tells me he got to watch a movie because his dad was having a sleep over...then I want to punch his dad, but instead I smile and say - sleepovers are fun....
and you are truly a wonderful woman since you were so hurt by this man but know how crucial that is for your son...well done!
omg I am dying too...you deserve it all!
Nathan - is worth it - he was born 8 weeks early - and we were so lucky how everything turned out - I thank God every single night for him
excellent...so let those be your last thoughts..forget that darn cell phone
lol - I try :)
you are worth it too
ok so it is 9...and I haven't heard back from him yet
so! you are having a ball here with me!
but I won't obsess - and does waiting till Sunday feels like the right amount of time?
I'm keeping you from helping other people - you do good work and I'm being selfish ;)
the thing about law enforcement guys is that on top of being a guy...they are then a guy in a profession who talks about nothing..no feelings!
no you are not.
hmmm...that could be why he is divorced...but I can totally overlook a little communication issue - lol
its not his fault really it is how they are taught
and he does also have a son living with him who is a senior in high school and I know he enjoys spending time with him and I have already made it clear that his son comes before me...he is leaving for the Air Force soon (his son) - so I know they do not have much time left together
yes...see the more details you give the more it all makes sense....
relax and enjoy
so maybe even if he isn't working - they are hanging out...doing guy stuff
yup and who wants to do that...lol
ok I will completely relax until Sunday.... so even if he does not text me and I have to text on Sunday...are we still thinking everything seems ok?
yes and then ask him out? who cares...live a little
and then be playful and say what is going on...you are taking the old fashioned girl out of her comfort zone...i cant believe i had to text you and say lets get togehter
assuming that is comfortable for you
if not let him do it....for me it is all about your comfort and what will give that to you
I'm afraid to ask him out - I can be positive - but not getting a response back from that - or getting an excuse of some sort about being busy would be a crushing blow
I guess if he is over me - I want to know, but I don't want to know
ok then dont do it that is why i was saying only do what is in your comfort zone
I get it but it does not sound like he is over you
I hope he isn't
so hard to have the faith in yourself when you have had the pain from your ex like you have but as best you can hang onto all of your wonderfulness
just ask nathan
lol - he thinks mommy is a rock star and he plans on getting a girlfriend, marrying her, and they are both going to live with me
...which is progress....when he was 5, he was going to marry me....
and actually worried about finding a tux small enough to fit him
love a good mommas boy! and he is right you are a rock star
he'll get over it - I heard that mom's are only cool until they turn 10 ;)
I will say that finding someone that I can introduce to him has not happened yet
all in good time
his dad lets him meet whomever - but I just don't want him meeting random people
he loves people and I can't have him getting attached to someone that I'm not attached too
I think you are making a good call.
ok so I'll be positive - and not freak out that he isn't going to text me back tonight - or probably even tomorrow - and I'll just send him a text on Sunday evening when all of the crazy Apple Blossom stuff is over
and will you let me know? I will be rooting for you
but hang onto his response...sounds good to me
I will definitely let you know .... I really didn't think 'shoot me a text anytime' was super positive
but I can hang on to the 'not at all' part :)
cause you cant see it as anything other than he has left you
and you should hang onto that part
with any luck I'm not too messed up from my divorce ;) and I promise I not like this at all when we are together - I'm perfectly normal and chill
good...gotta keep the nutty in check...said with a smile as I have been where you have been.
you will get though this.
come to me anytime
thank you - and I'll let you go help other people :)
you are sweet.
I am here when you need me
Providing the utmost care and support.