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AskJason, Relationship Answers
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 39
Experience:  B.A. Psychology
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I am in a marriage that is less than 2 yrs. This is my second

Customer Question

I am in a marriage that is less than 2 yrs. This is my second marriage. My wife and I are fighting about my children, my parents, and my ex-spouse. She does not want me to have anything to with my parents because she says my mom is meddling. She does not like me to communicate at all with my ex-spouse unless she can hear the conversation. Because of this I never talk to my ex-spouse whom I have joint custody of our children. My children (2 daughters) are tire of the fighting and cannot stand my wife (their step-mother). They are with me most of the time (approx 60-65%) but now want to stay with their mother because of the issues in my home. My ex-spouse is now threatening to take me back to court because the children no longer want to live with their step-mother. My wife says that I am the problem at that I put my kids, ex-spouse and mother's wishes before hers. I think she is controlling and is trying to push everyone who cares for me away. At easter we had a family get together. My mom and wife got into a verbal argument and my wife asked by mother to live. My mom then was getting her things together (food she had brought). My wife said she was not leaving fast enough and called the police on my family (parents, brother and sister-n-law). I have had enough and I am ready to get a divorce but I cannot get the courage to leave. The house is mine pre-marrital but my wife will not leave eventhough she has said she wants a divorce. Question - When is it time to end a relationship? I am at my wits end and I am scared I am losing my kids and parents.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  AskJason replied 4 years ago.

AskJason :

Hi, I'm Jason. I'm glad to answer your question. (My answers are intended as information and my opinion only and this is not therapy or counseling.

AskJason :

Since you are offline, I will switch this Chat to the Q&A format and provide you with my Answer that way.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I am now on-line and can chat.


Expert:  AskJason replied 4 years ago.
This is a very difficult situation you are in and I'm sorry to hear you are suffering through this.

To answer your question, the time to end a relationship is when you know in your heart that you must. Your wife has seemingly backed you in a corner and has been acting irrationally. It appears there are overtones of jealousy, resentment, anger, spite, etc coming from her and he actions speak to this.

I would think your children and parents are not threatening to leave you per se, but are instead looking to remove themselves from being in the company of your wife. I am sure that once the situation with your wife is either healed or if you divorce her, then your kids and parents will want to be more a part of your daily life.

I can't recommend to you that you try to heal the situation with your wife or divorce her. That choice is up to you and only you know where your heart stands on that decision. If she says she wants a divorce, and you say you want one, then it makes your decision fairly obvious I would think, but again, people say things when they are angry and I wouldn't want to lead you toward divorce if you honestly thought there was a chance you could reconcile.

Perhaps a period of separation would be a wise decision? This may require you to move out of the house temporarily if your wife refuses to, but at least you could begin to heal emotionally, have a place for your kids and parents to visit and not find themselves in a toxic environment, etc.

I hope I have answered your questions and please remember to click on the green "Accept" button if so. Good luck!

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