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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years and living together

Resolved Question:

My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years and living together for three. Over the past 2 years my sex drive has become non existant, however his hasn't. He has been supportive and has not forced the issue. Every other aspect of our relationship is perfect, and not many people can say that. Should we split up as this is not improving and I cannot see that its likely to?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 4 years ago.
Hello. May I ask how old you are? There are many aspects of a good relationship and it would be a shame to throw it away when something such as a sex drive can most likely be fixed or improved. Don't give up so easily! Have you tried any type of herbal remedy? There are many out there which can help. I would also highly recommend seeing a Dr and getting a hormone level check. Hormone levels are generally to blame in a situation such as this. You said you have come off the pill which can help, how long ago did you do this? There are many types of birth control and all of them have different levels of hormones in them. I think there are a lot of options here that you have not explored and I think you need to. If you have a wonderful relationship other than this, you need to try and improve this area to make it complete.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I've just turned 30 and my boyfriend is 31. I suppose I'm debating ending the relationship as I always thought I'd be married with children at my age but this issue has prevented us moving on. I have had hormonal tests in the past and they diagnosed polycystic ovaries. However this was diagnsed at 21 and I didn't have any loss of libido until I ws 27/28.


I have not tried any herbal remedies as I've lost all hope and have ecome a bit depressed about it all.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
,

I've just turned 30 and my boyfriend is 31. I suppose I'm debating ending the relationship as I always thought I'd be married with children at my age but this issue has prevented us moving on. I have had hormonal tests in the past and they diagnosed polycystic ovaries. However this was diagnsed at 21 and I didn't have any loss of libido until I ws 27/28.

I have not tried any herbal remedies as I've lost all hope and have ecome a bit depressed about it all.

Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 4 years ago.
I know this is a difficult and stressful situation, but you shouldn't have the expectations that you do. A lot of women these days aren't having kids until their late 30's and early 40's. Even if that isn't what you planned on, sometimes life is not as you plan. If you are with a man who loves you and you have a good relationship, why throw it away? You both need to make whatever decision you need to make together and it is of course your decision, but I would recommend you get a second and third opinion if necessary. You are still young. It took my husband and I 15 years to conceive our first child at the age of 38. I know that isn't a libido issue, but I understand how expectations can work against you. Weigh your choices carefully. A good man is really hard to find! Keep that in mind. Don't give up.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thank you. However there are also doubts whether I'm still sexually atracted to my partner. I love him a lot and we do loads together and have fun, however the longer this has gone on I'm unsure if this is the root cause. Can this ever change and could herbal remedies or counselling help.
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 4 years ago.
I think that there is definitely hope in the form of medical intervention. Do you have any sexual feelings about anyone else or in general? You should explore every possibility with him before you decide to move on, if he makes you happy in other ways. Also, IF you are comfortable with it, have you tried other sexual enhancements with him?? Outfits, movies, toys, etc. or this type of stuff doesn't even interest you at all anyways? Sometimes introducing things like that can help in a relationship lacking sexual energy on any level at all. I'm not allowed to recommend specific herbal remedies, but if you do a general Internet search for herbal remedies to enhance female libido, you should get some results. Do your research and read reviews. Amazon is a good place to get reviews on products.
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