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AskJason, Relationship Answers
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 39
Experience:  B.A. Psychology
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I have feelings for a girl and not sure if she likes me. She

Customer Question

I have feelings for a girl and not sure if she likes me. She calls me love and today said 'good day friend', however she will say things that purposely relate and attract me to her after I tell her what I like in a girl, and my interests etc. When she describes her perfect boyfriend, it turns out she is describing me, however she also says other guys (celebrities only) are hot around me, not sure whether to make me jealous or if she just doesn't like me). Can you help me decide whether she also have feelings for me or not?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  AskJason replied 2 years ago.

AskJason :

Hi, I'd be glad to answer your question. (My answers are intended as information and my opinion only and this is not therapy or counseling:)

AskJason :

Please give me just a moment to read your question.

AskJason :

May I ask how old you are and how old she is?

Customer :

Were both 20

AskJason :

Ok, great. Have you guys ever had a romantic type date or experience?

Customer :

Not really. We've been close for a couple of yrs but havent really talked until the past couple of days. We spent the day at hers once and she feel asleep on me, and today we went to the harry potter tour, which she really loved

Customer :

We havent kissed or anything, but we have said some flirty things now and then

Customer :

although most of the flirting is from me, but then she'll respond and react most of the time

AskJason :

I don't see it as a problem that she mentions that she finds various male celebrities to be attractive. 20 year old women are full of energy and just coming into their own sexuality, and many will comment on celebrities and how handsome they are, how their body is, etc. You, I'm sure, think the same thing when you see pictures of any of the hundreds of beautiful young actresses that litter the faces of the many magazines that can be found anywhere. Just because you are attracted to these women, it doesn't minimize your feelings for this girl. The same goes for her. She can definitely find these celebrities attractive but it has nothing to do with a lack of desire for you.

Customer :

She says shes really insecure and wouldn't ask a guy out as shes too shy

AskJason :

Ok so it sounds like you two have had a nice friendship which is now blossoming into romance. Sometimes it is hard to break that initial ice since you've been friends for so long and it can be awkward to try to show her that you like her romantically,

Customer :

I told her I llike shy and ackward people, and once felt like that too, but now Im comfortable in my own skin

Customer :

and then shortly after she was describing her roommates relationship where there both shy, and she said they need someone comfortable in thier own skin to bring them out. Does that sound like a response to my answer earlier

Customer :

?

Customer :

She isn't leading me on at all, its mainly because I really like her, but thinking rationally, and sometimes I think she does fancy me, others I think I'm just stuck in the really close friend bracket

Customer :

like love as a brother type thing

AskJason :

It sounds to me that she has definite interest in you. You'd know right away if she thought you were being "creepy" or "weird" when you flirt with her. Instead, you say she responds. My opinion would be that you have to take a chance of being rejected and take the reigns as the man and try to give her a kiss. Perhaps first you can set the stage by taking her out for a nice romantic dinner. Bring her flowers when you pick her up. Take her to a place where you guys can talk and maybe even sit side by side like in a circle booth rather than across from one another. As you progressively get more romantic with her and flirtatious, try to read her signals. If she is smiling, playing coy, playing with her hair, looking at you with intrigue, etc these are al good things. You say she is shy, so it will be you who has to make that first move. I bet she is dying for you to do so! Just be ready for her to respond since once you break down that barrier she may be very excited and eager to take your relationship to the next level.

Customer :

yeah thanks

Customer :

that has helped

Customer :

Should I wait a few days and she what happens before making a move

Customer :

I know shes going home on tuesday so won't see her for a while

Customer :

And today, she was playing with her hair a lot, and placing her body near me and aimed towards me, however she acts like that around a few other guys my age as well

AskJason :

You're welcome. I know it is hard to be the one to make that first move, but just believe in your heat that she likes you, she is sitting there WAITING for you to do so and all you need to do is lean in and go for it! My gut tells me she is going to give you a kiss back that knocks your sox off! Best of luck and I hope I have helped you. If satisfied, please remember to click the green "Accept" button so Just Answer can compensate me. If you have any future questions, you may start them with "ForCustomer and they will be assigned to me.

Customer :

I'm also not her typical type based on who she does like

AskJason :

Get all that out of your mind

AskJason :

It really sounds to me like she likes you.

Customer :

Ok thanks, XXXXX XXXXX your advice then

Customer :

:)

AskJason :

 


She is waiting for a man to show initiative and prove to her that they are attracted to her. Women like to be pursued. Pursue her. Show her you like her. Put yourself at risk but at the same time in a place to be rewarded. Be confident and she will be yours.

AskJason, Relationship Answers
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 39
Experience: B.A. Psychology
AskJason and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  AskJason replied 2 years ago.
Also, to answer the question you had asked which I missed above, I do not think you should wait. Let her go home knowing you have made your feelings clear to her. Let her think about you the whole time she is away while you guys can't see each other for a while. Don't let the opportunity pass because like you said, she is also flirting with other guys, like all 20 year 0ld girls do, and she is just waiting for someone to call her boyfriend. You can be that person! Go for it!
AskJason, Relationship Answers
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 39
Experience: B.A. Psychology
AskJason and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  AskJason replied 2 years ago.
Hi Grant,

Just wanted to see if you made any progress with the girl you've been friends with and are interested in? How did things go? Any other questions you'd like answered?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Jason,

Thanks for asking. Its going well, unfortunately never got to see her before she left for home so havent told her yet. She is having a house party on the 1st of June, and I'm thinking of saying something then. It'll be the first time we've seen each other in a month, and we'll both get slightly drunk etc, do you think its good to say something then, or wait until alter? She said she is really happy i'm going, something she hasnt said to the other people yet, however she doesnt now most of the people going so again can't decide whether shes happy I'm going because we're close, or because she actually has feelings for me?

Sorry for the questions, but I can't shake this feeling that she really loves me but only as a brother, or a best friend relationship. She said she feels comfortable around me and can talk to me about anything and be herself, but then in the same sentence said she mainly can't be herself around people she actually fancy's. Surely that is sending me a message? But she complements me, saying I look good etc, and tried to make me feel better about the end of my third yr, as we're both nervous about leaving next yr. As she's awkward and shy, she says the guy will have to say something to her so I know that i'll need to say something, but I don't want it to affect our friendship, especially as she recently told me I'm basically her only/closest friend at uni. Do you think that means she see's me more important than her other friends, and if so, is that because she can actually be herself, and not her saying she has feelings for me?

I don't want to be looking for things that aren't there, and really can't decide whether the little flirting going on is just her been friendly and free, and the complements been because shes nice and caring for our friendship, and not actual deeper feelings. Do you have other questions you could ask to help you get a more accurate answer, and sorry if this is confusing.
Expert:  AskJason replied 2 years ago.
I think you should definitely tell her how you feel at the party. Try to find a few minutes alone with her, or at least "alone" in the sense that you two are talking one on one without others involved. Tell her you missed her while she was away and see what she says in reply.

I agree she seems to be giving you mixed messages, but what you can bank on is that your message is not mixed and you deserve the chance to express how you feel. You care for her and you are attracted to her. It's time to let her know. I don't think your friendship will be placed at risk, especially since you've told me you have flirted with her in the past and have received a good response.
There are two ways you can let her know how you feel. One will be to simply tell her by saying you've really been looking forward to seeing her and asking her if she'd like to go on a date this coming weekend. Girls know what the word date implies. Friends don't go on dates. If you ask her to go on a date, and use that word, then she will surely know what you mean. If she says yes, then she is telling you she is also interested in you the way you are interested in her. The other way to tell her how you feel would be to just lean in and kiss her. Set the stage for this by sitting together at a corner of the couch during the party. As you talk with her one on one, sit close to her. Flirt with her a bit. If it seems you are engaged in a flirtatious interaction, pay attention to her body language. If she is looking into your eyes, then down to your lips and back, it's a sure sign she is thinking of you kissing her. If she licks her lips a lot, it's also a sign she is thinking about kissing. Touch her arm while you talk. Maybe try to put a hand on her knee. Create intimacy and connection. You'll know if the time is right by paying attention to how she is responding to you.
It takes guts, but you really have nothing to lose and you will feel very good about yourself for having taken the chance regardless of how she reacts. You know how you feel, there is nothing wrong with how you feel, and the time has come to tell her about it. Just relax, enjoy her company and when the moment seems right, either ask her for the date or lean in for a kiss. You will definitely know in 2 seconds where you stand! Let me know how it goes. I'm rooting for you!
Expert:  AskJason replied 2 years ago.
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