Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.
it sounds like things have been going great. The problem with texting is that it can sometimes get in the way of true connecting. As hard as it may be, I would suggest that you pull back a bit and let him initiate and if he doesn't then you have some information as to whether he has an interest or not.
I am here when you come back online.
Hi I'm sorry, I was at work and the chat window would not work.
On both of our dates we literally spent hours talking...each time it didn't end until close to 1 am. And they both ended great.
Hi. no worries. I am here with you now
Yes I dont doubt that you had wonderful times as it sounds that way to me too.
Are you able to pull back a bit and let him reach out?
I did..yesterday I did not reach out at all but I am not looking forward to falling asleep again tonight not hearing from him.
If this is our new normal I'm ok with that - but I really don't know if that is the case or if he is already somehow over it
it has only been two dates
yes it is a painful feeling for sure....but does reaching out really take that away because you are still left with...I had to reach out.
not really - on Tuesday it was a little better because he responded and then texted me again a few hours later - but then yesterday was crushing
and that is the roller coaster that I can see how it can turn your mood from feeling good to not feeling good
and I am suggesting more than a day not just one day.
how long do I wait to hear from him?
but let me ask for a minute...in HS when you knew him was he a pursuer?
no - actually I don't even remember him that well from HS. He recently joined FB and I sent him a note like a do most new FB friends to tell them I'm never really on, etc..
that started a communication back and forth of how have you been, etc.
and he asked you out?
after two days -
it was a nice surprise
you always have the other option to say without being pressuring....i have had such fun on our dates but I want to make sure the texting is okay as i dont want to push you away.
other than our dates, texting is our only form of communication
cause it seems like if I dont text you then I dont hear from you so I want to make sure I am not being annoying...not that i think you are at all...just a little silly line to lighten it up
yes but by your initiation?
I was honest with him on Monday night when I texted him (after waiting all day) that I thought maybe he was done with me
he responded LOL.No!
ok then he just might not be the texting pursuer kind of guy but i would pull back just a bit to keep the interest there
so do not text him tonight if I don't hear from him?
If you can stomach it. It might make him say hmmmm where is she I wonder how she is
but you can only do what feels right for you
I guess I can stomach just about anything....I've been divorced for three years and I'm the single mom of a 6 year old :)
definitely you can then....single mom of a 6 year old? you are a superhero
He is just the first person I've really liked in the past few years and I have to wonder if I've somehow messed it up
so use those powers and get your pwer back here.o
no you only wonder that because you like him and it has been a while.
the dates were wonderful so rely on that connection.
ok - so I will give it one more day....then maybe send him something light tomorrow...like - I hope you've had a great week
when was the last communication?
yes so tomorrow is ok and anything silly from the date or anything that you can connect to in the text?
we saw a movie last Saturday so I can probably pull something from there...he admitted that he wears crocs when he is home...lol
perfect....so you can say something silly like....
I couldt sleep last night cause all i could see when i closed my eyes was you in those crocs walking around your house.
does that sound ridiculous or okay to you?
it does - that is a great idea
these are just my thoughts but you expand or change anything
and if it sounds too mush about not being able to sleep
you can say as I read a book to my 6 year old i was imagining you at home in your crocs
you make it fit to your personality
great ideas...so another painful evening and then tomorrow I'm on it - if it helps, I have been checking FB to make sure he didn't 'defriend' me ....
this feels like high school but I'm 38
love those hs feelings when they come up...aint life grand?!
hes not defriending you. go relax and I am rooting for you
come back to me anytime.
Thank you - you have been awesome
I think you are going to do just fine...you sound terrific.
Thank you ")
its been a pleasure
and if you panic later I will be around until 10pm EST tonight and then back at it in the morning