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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3244
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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What should I say to a friend who said they would call, then

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What should I say to a friend who said they would call, then didn't? Suddenly not responding to emails. Feeling the distance, made inquiry, but told all is fine.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

Customer:

Hi, It's nice to chat with you.

CoachJenK :

hi. I am glad you are here.

CoachJenK :

Is it strictly friendship or has there been something else?

Customer:

It's been an emotional support. We live across the county but we chat by email and phone. We have visited once in person. There was some intimacy, but not intercourse.

CoachJenK :

ok and is it possible he is feelng more and maybe pulling back because of fear?

Customer:

Yes. I thought that...

CoachJenK :

and so when you reach out there hasnt been a response?

Customer:

It's been sporadic. He says he'll email, then nothing, as of Monday. But then we spoke on the phone and he said all was fine, no worries. He called this morning and said he would call this afternoon as is usual, but then nothing....

Customer:

We were planning a visit, but that may be scaring him. I don't wish to pressure. I love our emotional relationship. It's really been a beautiful, honest, open and communicative endeavor.

CoachJenK :

ok well there has been contact it isnt a complete cut off...then i might suggest taking adeep breath and taking it as t comes...maybe leave out the questions of are we okay and just be cool and let it ride and see how it plays out...is that possible for you?

CoachJenK :

it sounds beautiful and he might be feeling a bit nervous

CoachJenK :

so playing it cool might be helpful for both of you

Customer:

Yes, it's hard. I like to know, but I think you're right. I typically email him to say goodnight. Should I continue as usual. Just say goodnight and I love you with inquiry or blame or anything? It's been one of the best relationships in my life. I don't want to blow it....

CoachJenK :

yes loose and cool..do as you always do...no inquiries or blame. just easy gong and loosey goosey! :-)

Customer:

oops, without inquiry or blame or presumption....

CoachJenK :

yes I was with you...I have many typos too

Customer:

OK......thanks:)

CoachJenK :

you can do this...ts hard because of how you feel for him and that is a good thing, but be strong, be loving and let it play out

Customer:

Will do.... my thanks. He's precious to me. I'm not ready to say good bye. If the visit doesn't happen, I still love him.

CoachJenK :

and you can return to me anytime by requesting me.

CoachJenK :

and too soon to tell if that is what is going on.

CoachJenK :

so try not to go there...sit tight

Customer:

I just love what we have.... I will. Thank you!!!! I agree.

Customer:

How do I get to you again, if necessary....oh, relationships....

CoachJenK :

when you start a new question write for coachjenk only at the beginning and t will come to me..and I am rooting for you. please click accept if I have been helpful.

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