hey-o! this guy again... see if you can help me out again - same situation. well, a little different. in the few months I have not been with this gal I have been pretty miserable (i'm generally a happy dude) but can "put on a happy face" when needed. I have talked to this gal pretty much every day and have hung out with her a fair amount as well which is the only thing right now that makes me happy. but it also kills me cause I just want to hold/kiss her. we talked last night and this afternoon and she said to me last night, and i quote "I am not getting back together with you," and something about that made everything click into place for me. hurts like a bitch, yet hearing those words made me realize I would rather have a life with her in it (kid and all) then nothing at all. A life with her is happiness for me, sure I still don't want kids but if it means I get to have her still in my life then everything else is worth it. really, it is. and I told her this (and a bunch of other things on my mind, all came to a head basically) and she mentioned she is unsure now. she needs time, which is totally understandable, and I want to give it to her - no pressure in that sense. She's my best friend but I cannot stand to see her with another guy because I'm suppose to be with her. i just don't know what to do, i'm not giving her a short time frame ultimatum or anything at all, i just want her back. and i'm pretty sure it's not gonna be in the cards...
thanks for the reply, and I understand your points and they make total sense.
my problem now is i have this overwhelming fear that i've completely lost her. i'm going crazy. we have been texting and all that good stuff, but i am still struggling at times to keep my composer and not break down (again and again and again...). I've tried to do a bunch of tasks during the day to occupy my mind and that has only done so much since the thoughts creep in every which way and i don't know what to do. i love this girl more than myself (and i loooove myself, usually) and want nothing more than to wake up next to her every single day. i'm way more than willing to do anything that is needed to be together, but my fear is over powering.
anyways, i guess my question would be - how do i deal with this fear? this constant thought of how i lost her and not getting her back, and how i've somehow let her down... i know things will eventually get better and that time may be my best friend, but is there anything that can help ease it all right now?
also, i want to flat out ask her if i have truly lost her. well, in person, that way i can read the body language and whatnot and not to give her the chance to hide behind a text message... is this a good idea? i'm flip flopping on it, and i don't want to force anything but i feel like this would however i would like to know which route to take (keep pushing forward vs. deal with the pain)...
sorry for the long one here. i have a feeling some of this is redundant but here we are
thank you. i appreciate it. i will talk to her hopefully in the next couple days, but it has been suggested to me by a friend that perhaps maybe we should try couples counseling. i am game for that, but how do i bring it up in a way that doesn't seem like i'm forcing it and still allow her to have her space?
and, would it even work? or is it a "may as well, can't hurt" situation?
thank you for your responses. i talked to her today and it is all done. just flat out done. and as miserable, sad and depressed as i am right now i oddly feel more at peace since i know which route i must take. i know from here on out it's simply just giving it time to heal. so, thank you for your help. i appreciate it.
that is completely fine with me